Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Mon, Dec. 09

Hamilton: Only in America people are trampled for a TV

BEVERLY HILLS —God bless America, and how’s everybody?

WalMart opened its doors at six o’clock on Thanksgiving Day, kicking off Black Friday retail sales. It’s our ritual now. Only in America do we give thanks for all that’s been given to us at the Thanksgiving table, then at six o’clock trample anyone in our way for a $200 flat screen.

Southern California was drenched by rainstorms and blizzards in the mountains Thanksgiving Day, making holiday travel a nightmare. The holiday differs here. It’s not Thanksgiving in Beverly Hills until an actress at the table thanks her breast implants for all the free cocaine over the past year.

The National Football League offered three NFL games on Thanksgiving Day featuring new game analysts. The latest the announcers discuss in the booth is a quarterback’s eye discipline. I have no idea how quarterbacks can develop eye discipline, other than take their wives to the beach?

House Judiciary Chairman Jerrold Nadler will host the next round of impeachment hearings Tuesday as Democrats resume their pursuit of the elusive Trump. They are quite frustrated. House Democrats had to settle for chicken on Thanksgiving because their turkey flew away to Afghanistan.

President Trump flew to Afghanistan Thursday to serve Thanksgiving turkey to 500 U.S. military personnel at Bagram Air Base. The visit was top secret for security reasons. It’s the first time President Trump visited a war zone since he addressed the White House Correspondents Dinner.

President Trump signed legislation supporting pro-democracy groups in Hong Kong passed by the Senate and the House despite the U.S.-China trade talks in the balance. U.S. lawmakers and the president chose to stand for human liberty over a lucrative trade deal. It makes no sense to me, either.

The Daily Mail reports the Queen plans to retire in two years and leave the throne to Prince Charles. A slice of Charles and Diana’s 1981 wedding cake was just auctioned for $1,500. Not so dear was the salt lick from Charles’s second wedding, which went for 59 cents.

Thomas Bowers, President Trump’s former banker at Deutsche Bank, committed suicide by hanging himself at his home in Malibu Tuesday. In 2010 he signed off on $2 billion in loans for Trump. Is it possible that the only people Trump and Hillary colluded with were the makers of rope?

The Atlanta Constitution reported that Jimmy Carter is feeling well and was released from the hospital after brain fluid was removed. He just turned 95. One look at the current field of candidates and you see why Democrats refer to Jimmy Carter as their bright new star of the future.

President Trump hosted the annual turkey pardoning ceremony outside in the Rose Garden on the South Lawn Tuesday. Trump joked they’ve been subpoenaed by Adam Schiff to testify. That’s because the turkeys were so white that the Democrats just assume they were war criminals in feathers.

Republican stalwart Bob Dole was discussing in a TV interview how he was a test subject for Viagra pills 21 years ago for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals. He said he wished he’d bought stock in it. Only a Republican would think the best thing about Viagra is the fact that you could make money off it.

The New York Post reported a high school civics teacher once honored as Teacher of the Year in Round Rock, Texas, was arrested for performing oral sex on one of her students. She meant well. My guess is, she was just trying to teach that in America, any boy can grow up to be impeached.

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