Hamilton: Trump to pardon turkey, Schiff to charge quid pro quo
HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Thanksgiving Week is predicted to be the busiest travel week in history both on the road and in the air by the Transportation Department Wednesday. I love our national traditions. President Trump announced that next week he will pardon a turkey, and Adam Schiff is charging quid pro quo.
Los Angeles radio stations are being pressured by liberal groups to ban Baby It’s Cold Outside, claiming the song is sexist. Imagine the plight of the disc jockey. Sorry, listeners, we’re not allowed to play Baby It’s Cold Outside because of the lyrics, but here’s Cardi B telling everybody to eat her ass.
San Francisco voters went to the polls Tuesday and elected a new District Attorney who vowed that he will allow anybody in the city to urinate anywhere they want. It was just another way for the city to say they are number one! Within minutes, R. Kelly asked to be extradited to San Francisco.
Cal Tech astronomers in California hosted a conference of astrophysicists studying the origins of the Universe. They said they think they know what happened right after the Big Bang. Growing up in Oklahoma, what happened after the Big Bang is what everyone asked each other after the prom.
NBC reports it may cancel the long-running soap opera Days of Our Lives. The network vows to meet viewer demands for daily storylines involving alcoholism, infidelity, backstabbing and deceit. They will add one hour to the Today Show and bring back Kathie Lee Gifford and Matt Lauer.
The Weather Channel reported a bone-chilling cold front swept over the Great Plains and the Eastern Seaboard making November feel like February. Low temperature records were set everywhere. It was so cold in Washington, D.C., Wednesday that Hunter Biden was sticking to his story.
President Trump held a press conference with Turkey’s President Erdogan Wednesday where Trump dismissed the impeachment testimony as a joke. Here’s how the joke goes. During a $40 million attempt to impeach Trump, we learn to our shock that Ukraine has good phone service.
Chairman Adam Schiff emceed the House Intelligence Committee impeachment hearings on Wednesday, but Democrats won’t let the whistleblower testify. Hello 911, I’d like to report a quid pro quo that I didn’t see. Yes operator, I realize this is an emergency number but I don’t like the guy.
Rudy Giuliani said he’s thinking about starting a podcast to give a running commentary about the impeachment hearings. Trump has to shut him up if he wants to stay in office. If Rudy doesn’t stop talking, I am going to start believing that he finally got John Gotti convicted by representing him.
Hillary Clinton’s former aide said Friday it’s not too late at all for her to enter the presidential race and join the field. The sitcom practically writes itself.
If Hillary jumps into the race, added to Bloomberg, Bernie, Liz and Biden, this is not a roster of candidates, it’s a re-make of That 70’s Show.
The Weather Channel warned the West Coast of a likely heavy rainy season approaching this winter. That’s the last thing Southern California needs after all the autumn brushfires. L.A. County road crews have just posted highway signs in the Malibu hills saying Slower Homes Keep to the Right.