Hamilton: Dear Annie: I’m freshly moved out of my parents’ house.
HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
The Weather Channel reports the return of the Santa Ana breezes to Southern California this week baking Los Angeles in triple-digit temperatures. You figure out ways to survive the dry heat when you walk outside. For instance, white people are speaking Spanish just to hear the word Freeze!
President Trump slammed the House Democrats Squad of Four women members on Monday who regularly denounce Trump’s border control policy as racist. This is getting personal. My ancestors did not sail all the way to America from England to see this country overrun by immigrants.
Cal Tech astronomers reported a 2,700- megaton asteroid is headed our way. They warned that it could hit and destroy all life on earth in early October. The asteroid was first spotted Saturday and already it’s leading both Trump and Biden by 20 points in the polls.
Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Congresswoman Ilhan Omar claimed Monday in their press conference they represent Americans who are overlooked and disregarded because of their minority status. I myself have Mexican blood. It’s on my front bumper, but that’s a police matter.
Trump questioned the patriotism of House Democrats who likened border detention facilities to Nazi concentration camps. Trump even started a new presidential tradition Monday. After the Border Patrol Band played the “Star Spangled Banner,” Trump threw out the first illegal alien.
Ocasio-Cortez led a press conference held by the Squad of Four to answer Trump’s tweets questioning their patriotism. They are a very determined group. They always say they’re tired of playing the white man’s game, but why bring hockey into this?
Democratic candidates took turns promising to add Supreme Court seats if that’s what it takes to protect Roe vs. Wade from being overturned by states. A state’s culture is what shapes state laws. For instance in a Los Angeles divorce court, whoever wins joint custody gets to keep all the marijuana.
Hillary Clinton gave a speech so strong in New Hampshire Friday it gave reporters the feeling Hillary is thinking about running for president. The path isn’t exactly strewn with roses. Right now, Bill Clinton has to be worrying that Jeffrey Epstein is going to throw him under the school bus.
Prosecutors for Epstein, the billionaire pedophile, argued against bail Monday, saying many more victims are about to come forward. It confirms a belief I’ve had since I was a boy reading about Joseph Kennedy. I grew up thinking billionaires don’t have to fall in love, they just order a dozen of whatever they like.
A New York federal judge delayed any ruling until Thursday on allowing Epstein to post bail to get out of jail. The Daily News reported that R. Kelly and Jeffrey Epstein share the same bunk bed in a Manhattan jail cell. I guess the next question is, who’s on top?
California wildlife officials report last year’s brushfires heavily damaged the balance of nature in the wild. Some species have found ways to protect themselves. Scientists say for their group protection California Wasps are forming Super Nests, better known among Episcopalians as La Jolla.
MSNBC pundits ripped Mitch McConnell when it was learned that he’s descended from slave owners but they forgot to mention so are Obama and Kamala Harris. We are not our ancestors. I am a direct descendant of Scotland’s King James II, but that has nothing to do with me being a drunk.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.