Hamilton: Epstein’s problems trouble for both sides of the aisle
HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
The U.S. Women’s soccer team was showered by a confetti parade on the Canyon of Heroes in New York on Wednesday after winning the World Cup. President Trump did not seem too upset that they refused the White House invite. Jeffrey Epstein can always get him a younger, hotter soccer team.
Epstein’s underage sex charges have powerful Democrats nervous because he is such a close social friend and donor to many of them. These things have a way of working out. Hillary Clinton issued a statement Monday saying how saddened she is by Epstein’s upcoming suicide.
Bill Clinton issued a statement Tuesday saying he knew nothing of Jeffrey Epstein’s underage sex crimes despite their travels together. Clinton vouched that on every trip he took on Epstein’s private jet, he was accompanied by Secret Service agents. That just adds cocaine and orgies to the list.
Democratic presidential candidate and front-runner Joe Biden released his tax returns for last year, which showed that Joe earned $16 million in income last year. That’s 80 times more money than he ever earned in one year his entire life. He’s running against the Trump economy.
President Trump enjoyed his highest job approval of his presidency Monday in the ABC News poll. Kamala Harris is now the betting favorite to wind up facing him. If Harris replaces Trump as president, it will give Netflix a new spinoff series called “Black is the New Orange.”
The Northwest Florida Daily reports that an ICU patient tried to smoke crack while in the ICU unit and nearly burned down the hospital in Tallahassee last weekend. I’m no longer surprised. Florida provides daily proof that the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.
The Dallas Morning News reported that the Texas State Prison System is trying to think of ways to make executions more humane. For instance, thanks to recent de-regulation, you get to choose your own electric company. They have so many men on death row, the last meal is a buffet.
The London Sun reports the last Volkswagen Beetle rolled off the assembly line Tuesday 80 years after the VW’s notorious creation. There were two keys to the Beetle’s post-war success. It got great gas mileage and they removed the plaque inside the driver’s door that read Body by Hitler.
The Census Bureau blamed the low birth rate on millennials reluctant to get pregnant and have families. Parenting is daunting. The best form of birth control is, if you and your new spouse are considering having your first baby, child services sends over a teenager to live with you for one month.
The Washington Post reports the Pentagon spent over a million dollars on Trump’s July Fourth celebration and military display. The flyovers weren’t that expensive. However, the battle re-enactors playing the Redcoats who captured Reagan National Airport demanded union scale.
The Los Angeles Times reported Wednesday that the two large earthquakes and thousands of aftershocks set off panic buying for survival items in Los Angeles grocery stores. It made everyone look silly. If you paid $8 for a gallon of Smart Water, I need to tell you that it’s not working.
The National Highway Transportation Safety Board expressed relief that holiday weekend fatalities on the road this year were down from previous July Fourth weekends. There is a reason I had to get sober back in 1986. I’m not as good at walking the walk or talking the talk as I am drinking the drink.