Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Thu, Dec. 05

Hamilton: Problem with 2020 presidential election? Somebody could win

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Politico reports the Democratic presidential candidates are fanning across Iowa to campaign at July Fourth events tomorrow. The president himself will be hosting a fireworks show at the National Mall. The biggest problem with this presidential election, so far, is that somebody could win.

The Boston Pops Orchestra will perform its annual rousing patriotic concert in Boston on Thursday night to celebrate the day that the Thirteen Colonies declared their Independence from Great Britain. It’s a joyful holiday in two countries. In Great Britain it’s celebrated as Thanksgiving.

Men’s Health reports baby boomers can add 10 years to their lives by exercising and valuing the gift of life. I spend all day watching cable news, eating fast food and tweeting, and whenever I offer my opinions onstage people just laugh. I need to get my act together or I could become president.

Vladimir Putin urged the U.S. to trade captured Russia spy Konstantin Yaroshenko for captured Americans. U.S. Special Forces intercepted Yaroshenko in Liberia in a transport plane loaded with cocaine headed for Los Angeles. It’s regarded in Hollywood as the greatest aviation disaster in history.

President Trump returned to Washington on Sunday after reviving trade talks with China as well as making a little history in North Korea. It’s never enough for his critics. Trump may be the first president to step foot in North Korea, but not even he is brave enough to walk through San Francisco.

Trump reported Sunday that he and Kim Jung Un discussed renewing their disarmament and trade talks. They’re becoming quite friendly. President Trump invited Kim to the White House and Democrats lost their minds saying he’s a ruthless, lying dictator, but Kim insisted he’s not THAT bad.

Trump and Kim Jung Un met in North Korea on Sunday, leaving their security in chaos behind them. New Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham got into a violent brawl with Kim’s security guards. The press reports they fought like cats and dogs, causing hungry mobs to form around them.

Sarah Sanders announced Monday that she’s planning to write a memoir about her rollicking two years explaining President Trump to the nation’s press corps. It does require a special skill. Friday was Sanders’ last day on the job, which she confirmed by denying that she was leaving.

The CNN poll came out showing Joe Biden leading with 23 percent, Kamala Harris trailing at 17 percent, Bernie at 15. It’s an early snapshot. This could change on the Fourth of July when Beto O’Rourke proposes merging North Dakota with South Dakota to create Super Dakota.

Travel Magazine reported a record-high number of Americans will be visiting other countries this summer. There are many ways you can save money on the road. On Monday, a man died while walking off the plane in the Dominican Republic, saving the expense of the mini-bar and hotel.

The Miami Herald reported a Denver man died after he was kicked off an airline flight in the Dominican Republic because he’d gotten sick on the plane. One thing is becoming clear with each passing week. If America is the World’s Only Superpower, the Dominican Republic is our Kryptonite.

The New York Post reports a New York Supreme Court jury found a young Princeton graduate guilty of murdering his father after the father threatened to stop paying his rent and lowered his allowance. After reading this story, I felt badly for the kid. I guess we can’t all find the Comedy Store.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.

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