Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Mon, April 22

Hamilton: Jerry Ford liked how I made fun of Carter

BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Lori Loughlin got a harsh lecture from the judge for bribing her daughter’s way into USC. In November 1986 I was allowed to cut weeks ahead in line to get into the Betty Ford Center because Jerry Ford really liked how I made fun of Jimmy Carter on the “Tonight Show”. My trial starts Tuesday.

The New York Post reported on a survey which found 30 percent of single American adults have been in a sexual dry spell for two years due to a lack of available partners. It’s no secret why. This is what happens when people are too terrified to date somebody outside their own political party.

Journal Psychology reported on a survey which found that Americans get most annoyed when you tell them all about the details of your new exercise regimen or the new diet that you’ve begun. It simply begs for retribution. For instance I hate vegans, but then, maybe I’m cooking them wrong.

Facebook home pages on Thursday were full of pictures of brothers and sister posing together during various stages of their lives. The day was celebrated as National Siblings Day in 47 states, or as the day is celebrated in Arkansas, Kentucky and West Virginia, Valentine’s Day Part Two.

President Trump wondered aloud why George Washington didn’t put his own name on Mount Vernon. It was named after British Admiral Ed Vernon who defeated and turned back the Spanish in 1739. It speaks to us today that the Father of our Country named his house after the Border Patrol.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was dragged out of the Ecuadorian Embassy in London by the police to face hacking-spy charges. He’d holed up inside the embassy for seven years. So if Assange ever drops by your house for a beer, whatever you do, don’t tell him to make himself at home.

Attorney General William Barr looked a House committee in the eye Tuesday and testified that the U.S. government spied on GOP candidate Trump’s presidential campaign in 2016. That’s bad news for Barack Obama. The good news is, the Ecuadorian Embassy in London has a spare bed now.

House Democrats predicted Thursday that Barr will wield a sharpie on the Mueller Report and black out Trump’s suspected sins. There’s no comedy in that. I could say that I’ve always led a healthy and positive life if I had Barr around to redact my 20s.

The Journal of the AMA released a new study revealing when today’s teenagers start having sex. It says that one in 13 boys have sex by the time they are 13 years old. Yet folks still complain that our country’s teachers don’t have enough one-on one time with their students.

Market Watch says companies are increasingly marketing their products and services to black families. Not all of it is successful. Viking Cruises is now trying to recruit more African-American passengers to go on their scenic ocean voyages, but they say they’re not falling for THAT one again.

Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was re-elected to a fifth term in office Tuesday. The next day an unmanned Israeli spacecraft crashed onto the lunar surface. The headlines in Teheran read, Netanyahu Re-elected, Israel Attacks the Moon.

The Alabama state legislature passed a bill that would require all Alabama students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in classrooms. L.A. kids have improvised their own version. And to the Reeboks, on which we stand, one Porsche, oh my God, unbelievable, with puberty and nachos for all.

Southern California was buffeted by offshore gales Monday that swept off the Pacific and tore limbs off palm trees in Beverly Hills, knocked down power lines in the San Fernando Valley and upended sailboats in Marina del Rey. In West Hollywood, it was really blowing. It was also windy.

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