Originally Published: September 4, 2018 9:22 p.m.
HOLLYWOOD — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?
The Hollywood Reporter listed last-minute changes in the fall network TV lineups, bumping the premieres of some new TV shows to January. Some of the new additions have hit written all over them. NBC just picked up the McCain funeral for 22 episodes for the 2018-19 season.
John McCain was interred Sunday in a ceremony at the U.S. Naval Academy after nine days of funerals, eulogies, lying in state and over-the-top media lionizing. Wednesday will be the third day since John McCain was buried. CNN will be broadcasting from his gravesite all day, just in case.
Tropical Storm Gordon slammed into the Florida Keys on Tuesday, gathering hurricane strength up Florida’s west coast. Not everybody sought shelter. During the storm, a TV reporter asked a woman on the street if churches were open, and she said she didn’t know, she only eats at Popeye’s.
Labor Day traffic clogged the nation’s highways and airports Monday as the summer tourism season finally came to a close. It’s a welcome change of seasons in L.A. The Kardashians starting this week must obey the family fashion accessory rule, no bringing home a white guy after Labor Day.
Disneyland executives announced that starting Labor Day Weekend the park will begin selling alcohol to the public for the first time in history. Booze in the theme park is long overdue. You have to figure, why shouldn’t Disneyland be the Happiest Place on Earth for the parents as well as the kids?
The Weather Channel confirmed what everybody has been saying in Los Angeles, that this has been one of the hottest summers in recent city memory. San Diego wasn’t spared. It was so hot at the Del Mar Racetrack Sunday that gang members tried to shoot their way into an Ice Cube concert.
CNN reports an over-sexed dolphin forced the closing of a popular beach in France. The popular dolphin is widely loved but was rubbing himself up against boats and swimmers in self-arousal. In related news, Louie CK got a standing ovation upon his return to the stage in New York last weekend.
White House Counsel Don McGahn announced plans to quit Thursday. We’re running out of lawyers for the president. If Trump loses one more member of his defense team, he might have to be represented in an impeachment trial by Legal Zoom.
President Trump blamed China for the slowdown in North Korea’s compliance. China loves the cheap labor from NK refugees. The difference between Saddam‘s weapons of mass destruction, the doctor you like being the doctor you can keep, and collusion, is that we’ve finally found the collusion.
President Trump tweeted that he’s willing to sign a separate trade deal with Mexico if Canada refuses to drop tariffs on U.S. products. It could go either way. The last time Canada was this mad at us they burned down the White House, but that time they didn’t have the support of the Democrats.
The Washington Post poll showed the nation deeply and sharply divided over President Trump on Friday. Who cares? September is that glorious time of year when we Americans forget about politics, race and religion and go back to hating each other over the football teams which we support.
California police registered their opposition to a new measure that will allow pot dispensaries to provide marijuana home delivery. It’s a bad idea for my upscale Millennial neighborhood. With the pot delivery vans followed by the pizza delivery vans, and Amazon home deliveries and direct deposit of the Millennials’ checks from their online businesses, West Hollywood would become a society of cave dwellers.