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Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
1:35 AM Thu, Nov. 15th

Hamilton: Luggage ends up where it should

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

NBC reports a baboon escaped from its crate on an airliner at San Antonio Airport, then it ran loose in the baggage claim area Monday. It took hours. By the end of the day, there was no claim of destroyed property and all the luggage ended up in the right destination for the first time in history.

West Hollywood will shut down Santa Monica Boulevard today due to huge crowds expected to meet Stormy Daniels at a public appearance. It’s a real challenge. I’ve heard of pastors trying to get homosexuals to pray away the gay but who knows, perhaps screwing it away might do the trick.

U.S. Episcopal Bishop John Curry delivered a stem-winder of a sermon at the Royal Wedding Saturday. It was well-received by young adults. To lure Millennials to church, I’ve suggested that the Bishop of Los Angeles take out Twitter ads saying that that God is now offering free delivery from evil.

Dead Pool II topped the box office Sunday, unseating another super-hero movie, The Avengers: Infinity War, which was number-one for three weekends. Actors are enjoying lucrative careers appearing in superhero movies and their sequels. My Los Angeles superpower is that I can eat gluten.

Oklahoma University outgoing longtime president David Boren delivered the commencement address last Friday. That’s where I learned the one constant in life is change. When I was at OU in the 970s, I was always told I could be anything I want to be, and today that’s called identity theft.

President Trump raised concerns with FBI officials Monday about any FBI informant planted in his 2016 campaign looking for Russian collusion No one’s madder at Russia than he is. Being president has turned out to be such a hassle, Trump is determined to nail whoever put him into office.

Hawaii officials were hopeful Monday that Mt. Kilauea’s eruption will soon subside and spare their summer tourism. It did puzzle geologists when Barack Obama expressed his concern Monday about the volcano he said was erupting back home. Mt. Kilimanjaro has been dormant for many years.

Barack Obama agreed to a multi-year deal with Netflix to produce movies and TV series. He’s insatiably ambitious. Being the first black president wasn’t enough for Obama, he wants to be the only producer over 50 who was not brought down for sexual misconduct by the Me, Too movement.

Barack Obama called Jay-Z last week to ask him to implore hip-hop artists not to meet with Trump. The president’s approval rating with black men doubled after Kanye West endorsed him. Democrats consider Trump so nuts they think he belongs in Meghan Markle’s white side of the family.

Hillary Clinton gave the commencement speech at Yale on Saturday during which she enjoyed a huge laugh at Trump’s expense. Hillary donned a Russian fur cap and declared if you can’t beat them join them. The FBI refuses to investigate the charge that she stole the joke from Yakov Smirnov.

The White House moved to lift restrictions on extreme hunting of wildlife in Alaska Friday. It is lately a hot topic in the news. Last week a cougar had to be killed by Animal Control in Seattle after the cougar had mauled a mountain biker. It was the hottest episode of the Real Housewives ever.

The U.S. and China agreed Monday to drop tariffs and increase U.S. exports to China to balance the trade deficit. Respect for intellectual property rights was a huge issue. Nothing infuriates an actor like reading his movie is a big hit in China and then getting a $3 residual check in the mail.