Originally Published: March 17, 2018 6 a.m.
BEVERLY HILLS — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?
The Los Angeles Marathon will be run today from Dodger Stadium down to the Santa Monica Pier. There’ll be 25,000 people running down the street in the same direction. That’s what happens when you start a rumor that the FDIC is about to shut down the Bank of America.
The Tulsa Daily World reported that an Oklahoma woman who in the past had been arrested and charged with incest for marrying her son was just sent to prison for marrying her daughter. There’s a lesson in this for all of us. Just be yourself is the worst advice that you can give some people.
Donald Trump arrived in Beverly Hills Tuesday as unquestionably the biggest celebrity in the world, by doing the things celebrities have to do to stay in the news. Last weekend Trump may very well have topped the legend of Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress. He obtained a gag order on a porn star.
Today Show host Kathie Gifford called on people to forgive her friends Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby Thursday. Normal people aren’t attracted to the entertainment industry. You spend the first five years wanting to be discovered, then the next forty-five years afraid you’ll be discovered.
Republicans sought a special counsel to probe the special counsel Thursday while Trump was preparing to fire his third cabinet member in two weeks. All this, while Democrats encouraged kids to skip school, march together and wear armbands. Why do you think they call it March Madness?
The White House denied a Washington Post report Friday saying that Trump was about to fire National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster and replace him with John Bolton. That’d be a scary change. That white thing on top of John Bolton’s lip is not his mustache, that’s a dove in his mouth.
President Trump hosted Ireland’s prime minister on Thursday for the annual celebration of St. Patrick’s Day at the White House. The Emerald Isle proudly claims forty million descendents in America. All my life I thought I was Irish, but after going on Ancestry, I found out I’m just a drunk.
The Pentagon revealed plans to update its storage security of classified information to thwart hackers. They’re moving defense data to a cloud environment with Amazon Web Service. This is big news to Russian hackers who want to receive U.S. military secrets in two days with free shipping.
President Trump sanctioned nineteen Russians for hacking into America’s electrical, nuclear and manufacturing grids and Facebook advertising to interfere with U.S. elections. Their hackers outsmarted us. When I was a kid we worried about the Missile Gap with the Russians, now it’s the Geek Gap.
Congresswoman Maxine Waters from South Central Los Angeles followed up on her motion to impeach Trump Friday with a vow to take out HUD Secretary Ben Carson. Her style is flashy. The estate of James Brown is suing Congresswoman Maxine Waters for stealing James Brown’s wig.
British physicist Steven Hawking died at seventy-six after a lifetime of research into origins of the universe dating back to the Big Bang. When paramedics arrived they had to call for help in trying to save him. They were told to try turn him off, wait a minute, and then turn him back on again.
A Kern County judge ruled that Charles Manson’s grandson may have custody of the body of the murderous cult leader Friday. Last year the ailing Manson broke up with his L.A. fiancée when he learned she wanted to marry him just so she could sell tickets to view his body after he died. What does it say about Los Angeles women when Charles Manson’s the voice of reason in the relationship?