Originally Published: July 19, 2018 7:34 p.m.
Dear Annie: My wife and I have lots of nieces, nephews and other distant relatives and friends who are graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting married or having children. On each occasion, we have been sending a very nice card, an enclosed letter and a very generous amount of money. We sometimes get two announcements in the same week, and it seems to be never-ending lately. What we cannot understand is that to date, we have received only one thank-you. We are appalled by the lack of good manners from today’s children and wonder what kind of parenting they’ve had. Sorry, but we cannot excuse this type of behavior. Our generation was brought up differently. From the time we were children, good manners were the most important thing we were taught, and etiquette was the benchmark by which people perceived others. We are sorry to have to do this, but in the future, we will not be acknowledging or giving gifts for these events, even if it means offending friends and family. — Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: No need to excuse this behavior — it is inexcusable — but you might bring it to the attention of your relatives, letting them know that you were surprised not to hear back from your nieces and nephews. As parents, they may be unaware of their children’s negligence, and perhaps they will use this situation as a teaching moment on the importance of good manners. This will be especially helpful for those who are entering the corporate world. Many employers refuse to hire an applicant, no matter how qualified, if the candidate fails to write a thank-you note for an interview. There are many positive results that come from writing thank you notes, such as making the world nicer. It really is that simple.
Dear Annie: This letter is in response to “Where Is the Love?” — who wrote to you about her 3-year-old grandson with autism and the fellow diners at a restaurant who got annoyed with him. As someone who works with adults and children with various disabilities, including autism, I must say we also get comments and stares when we are out in public. I agree that her son-in-law handled it the right way by telling the other diners, “He has autism.” I often smile and educate the public when I get comments. It’s our job to advocate for those who can’t always speak for themselves, so I applaud “Where Is the Love?” for doing her best in educating the public, and I also say, Annie, I would like to see us as a society just love one another more and not judge. — See the World Differently
Dear See the World Differently: It is my dream to live in a more loving and empathetic world, and I’m happy to hear from people such as you, whose vision and dedication are what will bring that world into being. Thank you for your work and your positive words.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.