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Tue, Oct. 15

Argus Hamilton: Cold front hits Hollywood, movie execs have to keep hands in own pants

Beverly Hills — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Weather Channel reports a record-breaking cold front swooped into Southern California this week, prompting frost warnings to orange growers. City dwellers had to adapt as well. It’s so cold in Los Angeles that the Hollywood movie executives have to keep their hands in their own pants.

John Hancock removed its name from an iconic Chicago skyscraper after fifty years Monday when the life insurance company re-located its offices. Not everyone needs life insurance. I’m fortunate to say that I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, if I die Tuesday.

President Trump ended a second day of school shooting listening seminars by recommending that some teachers be armed, especially coaches and gym teachers with a military background and training. Think of the upside. If gym teachers are armed it could revolutionize the sport of Dodgeball.

Politico reports the upcoming Illinois primary could result in the upset of both the Democratic and GOP billionaire nominees by insurgent candidates. It’s exciting. Illinois is the only state where the current governor rides around in a town car bearing license plates made by their former governor.

The Los Angeles Times eulogized Billy Graham as America’s Pastor and covered his career of preaching crusades and counseling 12 presidents. Graham spent eighty years traveling the world and telling everyone to live by the Ten Commandments and to love one another. Well, it was a nice try.

Billy Graham who passed on to glory Wednesday after an epic career in the pulpit wrote in his autobiography that at age twenty, he was on the golf course when he heard the call to preach. That’s a switch. On most Sundays, white Southerners are sitting in church and hear the Call to Golf.

A University of California research team on human aging announced Wednesday if you drink several drinks of alcohol daily, it increases your chance of reaching ninety. This was big news politically. Democrats can regain the House if they offer to replace Obama Care with Churchill Care.

The New York Times published a poll of political scientists saying Donald Trump is the worst U.S. president because he’s so divisive. They said Abe Lincoln was the best. Wait a minute, Trump may be divisive but fifty thousand men haven’t been killed at Gettysburg over HIS farm worker policy.

The White House dismissed the New York Times poll rating Trump as the worst U.S. president as typical badgering by the mainstream media. It never ends. President Trump could walk across the Potomac River and the next day the headline in the New York Times would read Trump Can’t Swim.

George Clooney donated half a million dollars to a march on Washington for gun control next month, which sparked rumors he plans to run for president. It makes perfect sense. Running for the presidency is what ladies’ men do when we are too old for Snap Chat and too young for Life Alert.

President Trump was urged by his school violence seminar Wednesday to implement measures to identify and treat sociopaths before they can strike. For instance, last week when a producer in Hollywood threatened to kill his wife, he was ordered to get professional help. So he hired a hit man.

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