Dear Annie: Neighbors’ loud intimacy
Dear Annie: The couple who live in the apartment next to mine are, well, noisy. Today I could hear them being intimate several times — loudly. I’ve heard other people in the building giggling about it, too. I don’t want to get management involved if I don’t have to, but this is a little ridiculous. Would it be reasonable to slip a note under the loud neighbors’ door, nicely asking them to be considerate of the other people in the building? If so, what sort of language should I use? I don’t want to be rude or overstep, but they are so loud. The guy sounds as if he’s in pain, to be honest. They must know that other people can hear them! — Noisy Neighbors
Dear Noisy Neighbors: Believe it or not, you’re not the first person who’s written to me about this issue. Apparently, there are a lot of people who don’t realize others can hear them or just don’t care. Let’s give your amorous neighbors the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s the former.
Though I’m usually all for face-to-face discussions to work things out, in this case, anonymity is kinder for all parties involved and will spare you all embarrassment when you bump into each other in the laundry room. So a polite, anonymous under-the-door note, as you proposed, is the right approach. Let them know the walls are very thin and you’d appreciate it if they could try keeping things down. If they don’t turn down the volume after that, then you can hand this unpleasant situation over to building management.
Dear Annie: I live with two other women. I’m the one who handles utility bills; they’re in my name. Every other month, when they come due, I text my roommates to let them know how much we all owe. They send me the money via an app. Without fail, one roommate, “Tracy,” always rounds down to the nearest dollar when sending me money. So if it’s $82.64, for example, she just sends $82. Sure, it’s only 64 cents, but it’s the principle of the thing. Shouldn’t she be sending me the full amount? Should I speak up or just deal? — Shortchanged
Dear Shortchanged: Your roommate should be paying you the exact amount, especially because of how easy it is to do so on an app, but it’s a few nickels and dimes — hardly worth your peace of mind. If she’s a good roommate in all other respects, try to let it go. Consider that 50 cents or so your monthly donation to the Being a Bigger Person Fund.
Dear Annie: In response to “Not Sure in Norfolk,” I would like to tell you that I also use the handicapped stall. I have had successful knee surgery, a broken kneecap and bulging back disks. You would never know it to look at me, because I continue to work hard to keep mobile. I need the higher toilet and side rail. People should not judge a book by its cover! — Bee in Tennessee
Dear Bee: I’m printing your letter in case anyone needed further convincing not to assume a person doesn’t have a disability just because you can’t see it. Thanks for writing.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.