Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Sat, March 23

Hamilton: Prince Charles flips after Aretha dies

BEVERLY HILLS — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?

Motown’s Aretha Franklin died after a long illness Thursday at home in Detroit. The news of her death spread quickly. Prince Charles set a record as the oldest man in history to perform a back flip when he first got the news, before it was explained to him it was the Queen of Soul who died.

Ryder Cup captain Jim Furyk told reporters he still hasn’t drawn up the entire roster of PGA stars who’ll play for the U.S. team against the world team, so he can’t say yet if Tiger Woods will be on the team. Life is just like golf. As soon as you get out of one hole, you start heading for another.

Vermont made history electing the first transgender governor on Tuesday in what Democrats hope signals a blue wave election this fall. The party’s message is idealism tempered by realism. Build bridges not walls, unless you are Italian, and then it’s probably best you stick to building walls.

The Wall Street Journal published a study saying Millennials’ values are different from Baby Boomers’. And what a learning experience. Last night at Dan Tana’s restaurant my Millennial girlfriend advised me I was exercising my white privilege when I ordered without looking at the menu.

In Las Vegas an 11-year-old Florida boy hacked a Florida election website and changed votes for a Secretaries of State convention competition. Two other U.S. boys even changed the names of the candidates. Mel Kiper, Jr. has them going one, two three in the first round to Russia, China and Iran.

President Trump raised the ire of NFL players by demanding they stand for the Anthem or be suspended. It’s not a problem with U.S. players in Canada. They proudly stand for Oh Canada in appreciation for their willingness to burn down the White House if they get that angry at a president.

President Trump will travel to Long Island this week to attend a huge GOP party fundraiser at the home of the owner of the Nathan’s World Famous Hot Dogs chain. It’ll be fun. The president plans to shake hands, pose for pictures and defend his record of eating thirty hot dogs in five minutes.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders apologized for misstating the number of African-American jobs created as compared to under Obama. It’s touchy. She did point out that blacks have seven hundred thousand new jobs, and to keep the soap opera running, ONE of those jobs had to be Omarosa’s.

Omarosa said the Trump team offered her one hundred and eighty grand for her silence. He only offered the porn star and the Playboy Playmate one hundred forty grand for their silence. It’s a lesson to remember. If you don’t sleep with a billionaire, he loves you forty thousand dollars more.

CBS News This Morning interviewed Omarosa about her time in the White House Monday in which she claimed she once walked into the Oval Office and saw the president eating paper. We are all on one diet or another. To be fair to the president, the paper was clearly marked Extra Crispy.

Omarosa cited the White House for conspiring to hide Trump’s mental decline from the public Monday in a CNN interview. We read his tweets. The economy is booming so big that by 2024 candidates will be campaigning on their current mental decline in order to try to get elected president.

The University of Oklahoma announced Tuesday it will not allow the OU student infirmary to dispense medical marijuana. It would risk losing federal money provided for drug-free school and workplace rules. Besides, we learned years ago at OU that marijuana is the gateway drug to streaking.


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