Originally Published: April 25, 2018 5:58 a.m.
HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Barbara Bush was eulogized in a beautiful Episcopal service in Houston Saturday. This is the church that was once described as the Tory Party at prayer. As an Episcopalian I believe if you’re content with who you are, you don’t need to prove yourself to anybody — to yourself or to your subjects.
College magazine published job interview tips for seniors such as being honest, showing good manners and the right job skills to the company that’s interviewing you. Yesterday a college senior arrived for his scheduled job interview with United Airlines three hours late. He was hired on the spot.
Psychology Today said the huge number of Americans suffering with mental health problems who aren’t receiving treatment or medicine could result in even more mass shootings. The times that we live in don’t help. I am no longer speaking to my imaginary friend due to our political differences.
Southwest Airlines reported that the female pilot who miraculously landed their airliner whose engine exploded last week is a former Navy SEAL. The near-disaster proved one thing once and for all. No matter how you travel there’s always one passenger who insists on hanging out of the window.
The Treasury Department on Friday forecast strong economic growth in the U.S. for the rest of the year thanks to tax cuts and lower regulations. Nothing’s perfect. Next month, Starbucks will be closed for one day leaving tens and thousands of white people without a free place to use the restroom.
Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz ordered all Starbucks to shut down for half a day next month for racial sensitivity classes for employees. Still, old habits die hard. Yesterday, I went into a local Starbucks and ordered a black coffee, and they told me to get out or they’re calling the police.
President Trump confirmed Friday he’ll meet with North Korea dictator Kim Jung Un in May to discuss nuclear disarmament. They’ll need a good translator. North Korea named its most powerful ICBM missile the No Dong, which sounds to Americans like Stormy Daniels’s easiest movie.
President Trump returned to the White House Sunday after a working vacation at Mar-a-Logo resort in Palm Beach. A week of golf got to be pretty expensive for him. Every time Trump’s ball went into the hole, his attorney had to pay Titleist one hundred and thirty grand to keep quiet about it.
Secretary of State-designate Mike Pompeo listed the eradication of ISIS as a prime U.S. foreign policy goal. They still pop up everywhere to cause trouble. On Sunday another ISIS bombing in the Afghan capital city of Kabul has municipal officials considering changing the city’s name to Kaboom.
President Trump hosted France president Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte last night for dinner. The French first lady is 25 years older than the French president and she used to be his schoolteacher. It’s the furthest anyone’s ever risen from the Los Angeles school system.
President Trump went to Key West Thursday and he praised the Coast Guard for their success in interdicting cocaine shipments this year. Trump’s having trouble getting anyone to agree to be the Drug Czar. They’re afraid being any kind of Czar will drag them into the Russia investigation.
Rudy Giuliani took a leave of absence from his security firm to be President Trump’s attorney and try to wrap up the Russia-collusion probe soon. That may be wishful thinking. Robert Mueller is now investigating to see if Donald Trump’s real mother was the long-lost Grand Duchess Anastasia.
California’s Secretary of State announced that state-partition activists have enough signatures for a new ballot measure in November. Everyone will be watching this election. This November, voters will decide if California is to be divided into three parts —Small, Medium and Extra Pretentious.