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Fri, May 24

Dear Annie: Acting for the right reasons?

Dear Annie: I moved from the city to the country about 20 years ago, and now that my husband is deceased, I plan to return to an urban environment. I have spent many hours researching different locations, including using the internet and driving through neighborhoods, and I believe I’ve found a centrally located area that is upscale but affordable. Basically, almost everything I’m looking for is at this location.

The problem is that in the past year, I have been dating a guy who also lives in that area. I am in love with him, and I’ve told him so -- even though I’m sure I will never hear those words from him, simply because of his nature. But he calls me every night, and we see each other once a week, so I know that he is fond of me. The reason I told him I love him is that over the past few months, he has developed an illness that is going to result in a rather complicated surgery. I felt that he should know how I feel, and I knew I would regret not having told him if something should happen. I am 65, and he is 70.

Truthfully, I could search around a different city and find a similar location with the same amenities. I am not religious, and I am very conscious of the limited time that we both have here on this earth. How do I know whether I’m moving there for him or I’m moving there for me? — Moving Motivations

Dear Moving: You don’t need a polygraph to figure out whether you’re lying to yourself. You just need your heart and a willingness to listen to it. So take this two-question test.

1) Would you still move to this town if this man didn’t live there? 2) How would you feel if you two broke up six months from now — committed to building a life on your own in your new town or inclined to pack up and move elsewhere?

Be deeply honest in this self-evaluation and you’ll make the decision that’s right for you. Fudge the answers and you’ll only be cheating yourself.

Dear Annie: I am a 76-year-old man and 5 feet 3 inches tall. Oftentimes, people think I am a lady. For instance, while on an Alaskan cruise, I visited a glacier by helicopter. A woman in the group came up to me and asked, “What’s a nice lady like you doing on a trip like this?” I informed her I am a man and always have been. I am in no way a transgender individual. This is certainly not the first time this has happened. I asked my close friends whether I look anything like a woman, and they all said no, not at all. I have fairly short hair and am a flat-chested man. What would be a good response to give these individuals? — Mr. Flat Chest

Dear Mr. Flat Chest: Keep it simple. Something like what you’ve been saying, such as “Actually, I’m a man,” is perfectly sufficient. They might feel embarrassed, but you shouldn’t.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at


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