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Wed, Feb. 20
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Reporters bring umbrellas to Trump news conference

HOLLYWOOD–God Bless America, and how’s everybody?

Donald Trump faced his first press conference in six months Wednesday at Trump Tower. He wanted to put down the kinky sex rumors circulating about him. Just to be safe, reporters who sat on the front row brought umbrellas when they heard the press conference was a live streaming event.

The American Lung Association cited Los Angeles air quality for thirteen hundred deaths per year due to the harmful ozone pollution that’s caused by millions of car tailpipes emitting smog each day. It gets worse. I always thought that air was free until I recently bought a bag of potato chips.

Meryl Streep was urged by admirers to run for president after her speech ripping Trump at the Golden Globes. Why not? Anyone who can lead a standing ovation for Roman Polanski and then get a standing ovation for calling Trump immoral has, what we call in Los Angeles, good people skills.

The San Diego Chargers owner Dean Spanos indicated Thursday he will move his team from San Diego to Los Angeles a hundred miles up the freeway. They’ll rent the Los Angeles Rams’ new stadium. The move from San Diego to Los Angeles will take one to two years, depending on the traffic.

President Obama awarded Joe Biden with the Presidential Medal of Freedom Thursday at the White House. It’s not enough. For all the ridicule that he took for being the only member of the Obama administration you were allowed to joke about for eight years, Joe deserves the Purple Heart.

The National Weather Service predicted a sunny day in the mid-60s for Washington D.C. on Inauguration Day Friday, setting the stage for a big day. Jam-packed events like this can be a lure for terrorist attacks. ISIS just claimed responsibility for Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve performance.

The Washington Post published details about the Inaaugural at the U.S. Capitol on Friday. The most interesting item is Donald and Melania will sit in the same limo as Barack and Michelle for the drive to the ceremony. And you thought that your ride-share to the airport was uncomfortable.

Donald Trump’s advisors laughed off press reports that Vladimir Putin can blackmail Donald Trump with lurid details compiled by the KGB. The BBC maintains that the Russians possess embarrassing information about Trump. Of course, so does anybody who follows Trump on Twitter.

Donald Trump’s nominees for State and Defense got a thorough grilling in the U.S. Senate last week over future U.S. Russian relations. That’s understandable. After last week’s fake news rattled Capitol Hill, senators aren’t so worried about Trump’s ties to Russia as they are his leaks with Russia.

Donald Trump survived a Russian fake news story about an alleged golden shower fetish. No one cared. Americans want the stock market up, they want the factories to re-open, they want the border closed, and if the Lincoln Bedroom needs rubber sheets to get that done, they feel it’s worth it.

CBS’ 60 Minutes tonight will feature a full one hour of interviews between CBS News reporter Steve Kroft and President Obama. He compares well with other presidents. President Nixon was only able to put a man on the moon, but President Obama was able to put a man in the women’s bathroom.

President Obama signed an executive order Thursday ordering all Cuban refugees who land in Florida to be returned to their home island. It’s a shrewd move. In order to make sure the Democrats carry Florida next election, President Obama wants to deport all the Republicans to Cuba.

The DOJ Inspector General will probe FBI Director James Comey’s effect on the presidential election. The Democrats observe four moons every month. They are, It Was Comey’s Fault, It Was Russia’s Fault, it was Limbaugh’s Fault and the Electoral College is a Relic of America’s Racist Past.

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