Originally Published: April 30, 2017 5:57 a.m.
Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,
Two kids at high school called my daughter’s friend a “snowflake.”
She told them she didn’t know what they were talking about. They laughed. She told them to stop being mean. Then she cried and they laughed even more.
Her mom went to the school to complain. She told them her daughter was being bullied. The principal said she was not being bullied, but she was welcome to come to the office and meet with the counselor. Her mom got mad and said she was going to “do something about it.”
Her mom took her daughter out to eat to “pamper her.”
Now, my daughter’s friend is over here expecting us to console her, I think, but I’m mad at her and her mom. I think they have made an issue out of nothing.
I want to shake the two of them and tell them to wake up and grow up.
My daughter has never acted like this. She’s not a snowflake and neither am I.
Not a Snowflake
We’re happy for you and your daughter that you’re both strong and tough enough to not let others define you.
You have an opportunity to help this girl and possibly her mom (if she is willing) by having a conversation with them.
Let them know that you care about them and have ideas that have helped you.
Use what you want from the following thoughts:
Being easily offended means being thinly self-defined. When you feel well enough about your values like integrity, gratitude, and generosity of spirit, you build a shield of goodness, so that you won’t be easily offended or hurt. It allows you to stand tall, look the person in the eye before walking away.
Being labeled a snowflake is unkind, but it’s not bullying. Being a snowflake means being too emotionally vulnerable to handle other people’s views, thoughts and even attacks. If you know who you are, it gives you the freedom to let others’ voice their opinions because they won’t change what you think.
Don’t accept the label of “snowflake” or you will stay stuck a victim. No one can tell you who you are, but you.
Strengthen your family by being good leader examples. Help each
other face conflict head-on and stay away from the shame and blame game.
Being strong stops the snowflake trend.
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri
Rhonda Orr is the president and founder of the Prescott-based Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation. Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, PhD, LMFT, is a crime-victim specialist. Send your anonymous questions to Rhonda@rhondastopbullying.org. Find out more about Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation at www. rhondastopbullying.org.
Editor’s note: Letters to Rhonda and Dr. Cheri come from around the U.S. via our website and are not necessarily from Prescott.