Dear Rhonda & Dr. Cheri: ‘Easy’ does not equal happiness
Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri
I’m a dad of a 28-year-old son. I just read your column about Millennials.
He’s still living with me. I think it’s because of the Millennials’ decision making process. They are careful, they ponder, and they study over making the right decisions.
I’m a marketing executive with a large company. I have a lot of research on this generation.
Millennials make decisions about their values after input from their peers, social media, their “partners,” the web, and sometimes their parents that they live with! They don’t rely on clergy from organized churches.
They don’t attend church and don’t consider themselves religious, but they do say they’re spiritual. His generation values honesty, authenticity, and goodness.
Our studies show they will make milestone decisions such as marriage, first in their thirties, and then a career decision, and then a parenting decision. If they aren’t married by their late thirties, they will be single parents because they feel they’ll be good parents.
They value “easy,” like easy technology, easy dating online, easy ways to work smarter and not harder.
I’m writing because I’m not sure you can judge all Millennials to be devoid of values.
Dad of a Millennial
We want to be clear that we are not judging Millennials to be devoid of values. They are more complex than that. Our column centered on common dating practices by many Millennials.
According to a Goldman Sachs report, “easy” is this generation’s target value:
Technology and innovation that makes everyday tasks “easier,” is a great thing, if other more worthy values, such as dating, their career, deciding to marry, and have a family occupy their time, but that’s not their norm.
“Easy” distribution of media and merchandise across online platforms, which often leads to spending instead of saving.
“Instant gratification,” which means instant access to information, games and social networking … and unfortunately, porn.
“Easy” access to share thoughts, images, and accomplishments, in real time, via social media. This is often awkward when Millennials over-share in their online relationships. The casual sex, which follows, causes emptiness and is soul damaging.
We know this generation is hungry for honesty, authenticity, and goodness. Valuing “easy” will not lead to those attributes. It gobbles up a tremendous amount of time.
That’s why we recommend people of every generation decide, decide, decide (ahead of time) to what they will commit.
equal good moral values, ethics, or happiness.
A good decision-making plan includes learning how to Define Yourself, Before Others Do™ with our 5 C’s: Civility, Confidence, Courage, Creativity and Communication.
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri
Rhonda Orr is the president and founder of the Prescott-based Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation. Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, PhD, LMFT, is a crime-victim specialist. Send your anonymous questions to Rhonda@rhondastopbullying.org. Find out more about Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation at www. rhondastopbullying.org.