Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Tue, June 18

Dear Rhonda & Dr. Cheri: Don’t take the hate bait

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

My friend told me to write you and I don’t know why because I’m not sure you can understand what it’s like now for teens and you’re conservative, mom said.

I was reading about girls who committed suicide because I always think about suicide because I’ve been bullied since I was 10 because I’m adopted and look Asian, but I’m a lot of races.

I’m small and called a boy or a “lesbo.” I’ve been slapped, and was pushed into a bathroom stall and girls from another school pulled most of my clothes off to see if I’m a real girl (they laughed when I cried).

My parents are forcing me to go to a public high school after being at small liberal private schools. My parents want me to experience the “real world.”

I already know “real” because I thought I had a boyfriend to prove I’m not gay and I’ve been drinking and doing drugs.

My boyfriend who just used me and pretends to be a good Christian and a conservative, tells everyone how I look like a boy and said racist stuff. I got mad and told him I hated him and to stop sending pictures of me and talking about me and sending me like a hundred texts calling me names. He told me I was ugly and pathetic and he has a gun I should use to blow my useless self away.

I read about another girl who shot herself and she was super smart, athletic, sweet and loved horses just like me.

I am super nice, but I can’t stop hating them.

So how do I go to school? No one will stop them! My grandma tells me to just keep being sweet and not to worry. She says they hate themselves. No! They hate me.


Not a Hippie Lesbo

Dear Smart, Nice, Athletic, Animal-Loving Young Lady,

First off: Right and wrong are not conservative or liberal! Haters are haters!

Secondly: We are an advice/ opinion column for all: young, old, conservative, liberal.

Right at the end of your letter, you identified so many positive things about yourself. We are so happy you have seeds of a promising sense of self-worth.

Your feelings are nearly touchable to us. You have powerful emotions and hunger for goodness, love, understanding and truth. You have the light of Christ inside your heart, but at this moment, in your pain, you have put a padlock and chain around it to protect it from getting hurt.

But your fierce and angry protection is making it hurt worse. You can only protect it by freeing it.

We want to help you enhance and define your sense of worth. Hate produces seriously damaging and painful feelings, thoughts, and words. It’s a catalyst of irreversible actions such as suicide, scars (inside and outside of your body) and never-ending heartache.

Recognize - You must not become a hater of Christians or liberals or conservatives because of misguided and abhorrent examples of others. There isn’t anything Christian or liberal or conservative about hating, judging, lying, accusing, mistreating and abusing or bullying another precious creation of God – You!

Realize - The hate of your peers comes from easily (and, unfortunately, sometimes familiar home behavior) chosen bully pathways of judging, criticizing, one-upping, hurting and … the worst … making fun of someone who can’t be easily defined in their small, small world. You are fabulously unique and different.

Radiate and don’t Retaliate (against anyone or yourself) – Forgive and be grateful that you are a person who cares!

Revolt – Sex, drugs and hate will ruin you!

Start leading by example … you can be the revolution this world needs NOW!


Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

Rhonda Orr is the president and founder of the Prescott-based Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation.

Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, PhD, LMFT, is a crime-victim specialist. Send your anonymous questions to


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