Dear Annie: I am in my early 50s, a widow, with five great kids, all now grown, out of college and thriving on their own. We get together at the family home for weekends and holidays.
A problem arises when my middle son (age 25) arrives with his fiancee, “Carol,” who smokes pot. I have asked him repeatedly to tell Carol not to do this in or around my home. The neighbors are very close by and this is a small community. I am well-known by most of the people who live here.
Carol refuses. The second that I leave the house to run an errand, I come back to a house filled with the scent of pot lingering in the air. I am at my wits’ end. Must I ban my son and Carol from the home? – Heartbroken Mom
Dear Mom: Carol is being enormously disrespectful to you and also to your son if he is, in fact, asking her not to do this. If recreational marijuana use is illegal in your state, her actions could also bring the police into your home and you could be held responsible for the pot.
Tell your son that he can no longer bring Carol to the house unless she leaves the pot behind or at the very least, agrees not to smoke in or near the house. Say that you are so sorry it has come to this, but since she has no respect for your house rules and doesn’t seem to care about you, this is the best you can do. His fiancee will be welcomed with open arms once she is capable of showing some class. If she cannot possibly do without pot and your son chooses to stay away over this, so be it. You’re in for a rough time with this ill-mannered girl.
Dear Annie: This is for “A Frustrated South Dakotan.” As a mother of a son with epilepsy, I understand both his feelings and his mother’s.
Depression goes hand in hand with epilepsy. Has he sought another opinion on his medical care? It took us three different doctors before we found one we felt was able to treat our son correctly. Luckily, he has been seizure-free for three years now that we found the correct medications.
Our son is finally able to live on his own. He has a good job and since he is seizure-free, he can drive a car. It doesn’t mean I don’t worry about him every day. In fact, my greeting is, “Did you take your meds today and are you getting enough sleep?” The medications, depression and social anxieties associated with epilepsy are horrible. I wish this young man a life that is complete and happy. But I would also like to tell him to take it easy on his mom. She loves him and is frustrated that she cannot make everything perfect. She needs to know you are always safe. – A Mom of an Epileptic
Dear Mom: Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. We can only hope that his young man and his mother see your letter.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie on Facebook at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.