Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri …The headless Barbie
Editor’s note: Letters to Rhonda and Dr. Cheri come from around the U.S. via our website and are not necessarily from Prescott.
Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,
I have had a friend since we were in pre-school. We played Barbies and had tea parties. We did everything together.
When we were in first grade, we even dressed alike on certain days. We went to the movies and took ballet together. But, lately I feel like she’s just hanging on me. I mean like really. So I told her to please not hang on my arm and stuff.
My friend got so mad she threw a glass of milk on me and said in a really mean way, that I had become a snob and I just wanted to hang around the popular kids.
I got mad because it’s not true! I told her to stop acting like my little sister, who is 3. She went crazy and ripped my favorite Barbie doll’s head off. I cried and cried and she did not care. Her mom came to talk to my mom and we all tried to talk, except her.
My friend’s mom bought me a new Barbie but she’s not the same. I don’t want this girl to be my friend anymore.
My mom said that we all make mistakes and I should give her another chance. I don’t want to do that. It’s her fault and she was really mean.
Not my friend
Friends are definitely one of the most important aspects of any person’s life, as they provide support and comfort during confusing and difficult periods of your life.
Friends are one of the top things we all are concerned about because they can greatly affect your mood and overall stress levels in a negative or positive way.
You seem mature enough to understand these two concepts and maybe your friend isn’t quite in that same thinking mood, yet.
People are often judged on who their friends are, forcing more pressure through the creation of cliques. Your friend could be afraid she’s going to lose you, so she hangs onto you even tighter.
Comfort her that she is still your friend. However, she cannot treat you or your things badly.
If you’re worried whether you belong to the most popular set in school, or the geek clique, don’t stress so much – everyone else is worrying too.
PLUS, remember, you do not have stay with friends with people if they are unkind or treat you offensively. Don’t explain, or engage in drama … just be kind but firm. Choosing friends is a skill that takes a whole lifetime to develop.
Communication is with C.L.A.S.S. = Connect with compliments … even to yourself. Listen. Ask Questions to gather more information. Summarize what you heard. Suggest things to do together.
Be the friend you’d like to have.
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri
Rhonda Orr is the president and founder of the Prescott-based Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation. Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, PhD, LMFT, is a crime-victim specialist. Send your anonymous questions to Rhonda@rhondastopbullying.org. Find out more about Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation at www. rhondastopbullying.org.