Originally Published: August 21, 2016 5:55 a.m.
Dear Annie: I am torn between two guys. I have liked Guy No. 1 for a while. I first saw him across a campus courtyard last fall, and I was smitten. After months of nervously trying to work up the courage to approach him, I finally talked to him at a party a couple of months ago. And to my shock, he ended up liking me, too. We went on a few dates. He cooked me dinner, which was nice. We’ve had to pause things for the summer because he’s traveling, but we plan on seeing each other when he gets back.
Then there’s Guy No. 2. He’s been my friend for two years. Though I didn’t really have romantic feelings for him before, there was always some small level of attraction there. But he never expressed any interest until I started going on dates with Guy No. 1.
The problem with Guy No. 1 is I don’t feel quite so passionately about him now that I actually know him. He’s nice, but the reality is not anywhere near the ideal, I guess.
But then, Guy No. 2 isn’t perfect boyfriend material, either. He has a habit of only wanting what he can’t have. I’ve seen him do this with other girls. And as tempted as I am to see where things go with him, I just feel as if he’s going to lose interest as soon as he has me.
I keep going back and forth. I try to “listen to my heart,” but it seems pretty mum at the moment. I’m torn, and although it was fine to see the two of them casually for a little while, I can tell they are both getting frustrated. Which guy do you think I should go for? – Juggling
Dear Juggling: Neither. Your heart is telling you that you don’t really like either of these guys all that much. Don’t have a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend. Keep your eyes, heart and calendar open for someone whom you’ll choose without question.
Dear Annie: I am at a loss. My wife is a wonderful woman, mother and grandmother. I love her dearly. She is a friend to all and a role model for the world.
So, why am I writing? A few years ago, she began to hum almost nonstop, when she isn’t eating or sleeping. She finishes a sentence and immediately starts the distraction. There is no tune or melody. I told her it bothered me when she started this a few years ago, but she seemingly has no control over this. It affects her friends, as well.
She says she doesn’t know she’s doing it, and I believe her, but it drives me nuts. I refuse to have a conversation with her while she hums. We set an alert word to bring it to her attention so as not to embarrass her while we are with others. Is this a medical condition, or is there something that we can do to help her control the issue? I would appreciate your thoughts. – Married to a Louisville Hummer
Dear Married: As long as a doctor determines that no dementia is present, your wife can keep humming along. Not what you wanted to hear, I know. But the majority of research available indicates that humming is a beneficial habit, especially for the elderly, as it relieves stress and reduces loneliness. You can help her regulate it so it doesn’t happen at inappropriate times. Having that “alert word” sounds like a solid strategy.
Aside from that, try managing your reactions. Previously, I printed a letter from a woman who was bothered by her co-worker’s constant humming and tapping, and afterward I received many responses from readers who suffer from a condition known as misophonia. If you find you are intensely irritated by humming and other sounds, learn more at http://www.misophonia.com.
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