Originally Published: April 21, 2016 6 a.m.
Dear Annie: Two years ago, my husband bought a dog from a breeder. It is a designer dog that’s supposed to be hypoallergenic, since I have very bad allergies to dogs. (I take medication now.)
Here’s the problem: We didn’t know at the time that the dog was part of a litter that came from our neighbor’s dog. The mother still lives with our neighbors and they like to come around every day and take our dog for a walk. Our dog loves them so much that he often crosses the electric fence when he sees his mom outside. If he’s tied up, the neighbors will come by and just untie him. This is a major annoyance. Worse is that when they take him for a walk, I have to go to their place to pick him up after, and the neighbor tries to make me feel guilty for not walking him myself.
My husband doesn’t have a problem with it since he’s away all day and walks the dog when he gets home. Annie, I really didn’t want a dog and my husband knew it, but got one anyway. Now I have a responsibility to take care of him and deal with intrusive neighbors. What do I do? – Desperate
Dear Desperate: You could go the nuclear route – your neighbors are trespassing and taking your dog without permission. You could call the police. But try this instead: Let them walk the dog and take him back to their house. Then leave him there. You know the dog is being well cared for, and your husband can pick him up when he gets home. That way, you get to relax, you don’t have to visit your critical neighbor, and your husband becomes more responsible for the dog – which is what can happen when one person in a relationship makes a unilateral decision that negatively affects the other.
Dear Annie: I’m a 74-year-old happily married man. I read the letter from “Confused,” the 51-year-old lady who asked whether she should stay in a relationship with her 58-year-old fiance.
Each of them is twice divorced. He’s had four DUIs and likes to watch porn. They met online and hit it off quickly. The guy moved in with her and took control. She supports him financially. Yet she said that her only problem is his sexual demands, including bringing in another woman to join them. She wanted your advice.
Annie, is this woman so insecure that she can’t see the whole picture? She must like the way she’s living or she would have dumped this fast-talking bozo a long time ago. I may not have been the perfect husband, but I still pray that we’ll stay married for many more years to come. I know a good thing when I see it. Glad to say, I’ve only been married once. – Life is Good
Dear Life: A lot of people cannot see the whole picture when they are in the middle of a relationship. And there are usually some good aspects, which muddies the view. But the guy who is great in bed does not make up for the same guy who won’t get a job and yells at you all day. This is especially true for those, like “Confused,” who were previously in abusive relationships. They don’t know what a healthy one looks like. We’re glad you do.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie on Facebook at Facebook.com/AskAnnies. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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