Dear Rhonda & Dr. Cheri: Pregnant and bullied
Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,
I'm 14 and going into high school. My boyfriend is 16 and he talked me into having sex with him after I kept saying no for like 3 months. He kept saying, "But you slept with Kevin (not his real name)."
Now I am pregnant. He said he would leave me if I had an abortion, which I didn't really want anyway.
He doesn't want to tell his mom. His mom is really strict and wants him to go to college. He said he'd find a way to get money to me and my baby.
I told my parents my boyfriend was the father. They want me to give the baby up for adoption. They are furious with my boyfriend and won't let me see him (but I still do because my parents work).
He still hasn't told his mom and he's mad that I said I had to give the baby up for adoption. He yells at me and calls me names and tells me he hates me. Then he had his friend call me and say I was a whore and I ruined his life. Now everyone at school is mean to me and he says it's my fault.
Should I keep the baby? All I do is cry. Help!
Pregnant and Bullied
Dear Pregnant and Bullied,
You are a victim of a troubled boy and of your own lack of self-worth. You need to learn that you are worthy of real love and not just sex.
The father of your baby is not mature or kind enough to be a father and if you become a mom in order to get a boy to love you, you could ruin an innocent child and their entire life plus your own life.
If you give your baby up for adoption or even if you don't, your "boyfriend" will not treat you any better. He doesn't know how to love and respect even his own self.
We believe that giving your child up for adoption is giving him or her a fighting chance to grow up with mature parents who will do all they can to help their child get a great education, feel secure, and loved is the best answer.
Think about the following before ever having sex again while you are young and not quite sure about who you are and what you need from a man ... not a boy:
There are over 700,000 teen pregnancies each year in the US
3 in 10 girls will get pregnant at least once before age 20
16% of teens that are 15 will have sex
48% of teens by age 16 will have sex
Approximately 40% of teen moms will not graduate high school
Sexually Transmitted Diseases are up and growing in numbers
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri
Rhonda Orr is the president and founder of the Prescott-based Rhonda's STOP BULLYING Foundation for Girls. Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, PhD, LMFT, is a crime-victim specialist. Send your anonymous questions to Rhonda@rhondastopbullying.org or by mail to The Daily Courier 1958 Commerce Center Circle, Prescott, AZ 86301.