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Sun, Sept. 22

Column: What happens when zombies invade D.C.

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD-Happy Tuesday, everybody, and God bless America.

Maggie is a new movie about a farmer's daughter who gets infected by a virus that turns her into a zombie. In horror movie lore, zombies are only able to survive by eating human brains. This explains why the zombies invaded Washington D.C. last week and came back hungry.

Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden was reported Friday to have been kicked out of the Navy for testing positive for cocaine use in February. It's a loss to the service. Say what you will about Hunter Biden but he's the only guy in the Navy who could swab an entire deck in thirty minutes.

President Obama's job approval ratings hit a new low in the ABC News poll Tuesday. He's losing support quickly. Last week, the Honolulu City Council withdrew a motion to name a popular beach after President Obama, so instead they will name an unpopular beach after him.

President Obama called out the National Guard to aid in the struggle involving Ebola on Friday. It was an ominous decision. It means not only is President Obama not going to ban flights from West Africa to keep Ebola out , he's going to enroll it in the University of Mississippi.

CDC Director Tom Friedan insisted that halting flights from West Africa to the U.S. won't prevent Ebola victims from arriving, prompting consternation in Congress. First the people of Africa gave us AIDS, then they gave us Ebola. For heaven's sake, what did we ever do to them?

President Obama named Ron Klain the Ebola Czar to lead the fight against the spread of the deadly virus. He was the chief of staff for Joe Biden and Al Gore. So he's well prepared if Ebola suddenly starts to make victims put their foot in their mouth or mess with the thermostat.

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