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Tue, Jan. 21

Column: Feds fired their only thrifty employees

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

BEVERLY HILLS - God bless America, and how's everybody?

The White House gave an ad agency $20 million to glorify the Health Care Reform law. It never ends. The administration just fired the only people in Washington who were cutting spending - the Secret Service agents who stiffed the Colombian prostitute.

The U.S. Senate called in the Secret Service to testify Wednesday about their late-night hooker party in Colombia in April. What a night. When one agent finally went to bed, he asked the hotel operator for a seven o'clock wake-up call, and she told him he just missed it.

Bill Clinton was at the Cannes Film Festival Friday where he posed for cameras with his arms around two gorgeous porn stars. What a trio. One of them just won an award for Best Sex Scene in a movie called "Farm Girls Gone Bad," while the other two are actresses.

Australia was rated the happiest nation in the world Friday in a survey by the Better Life Index. The Aussies have no recession, full employment and a budget surplus. When you start out as a prison colony, the only government handout you get is spousal visitation.

Walter Cronkite's bio by Doug Brinkley came out in bookstores Tuesday. It is full of gossip. It says a lot about the '60s that he bugged a GOP meeting, flew free on Pan Am and had an extramarital fling with a stripper and he was the Most Trusted Man in America.

Florida Republicans warned that the GOP Convention in Orlando in August faces a delay if a hurricane hits. It's the busiest week of the year for hurricane activity. Mitt Romney's hair never moves but they might have to get Callista Gingrich to stand in for Anne Romney.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said Friday he wants every NFL stadium to be Wi-Fi capable to keep fans happy. The commissioner had no choice. It was either allow fans to have their Internet during games or sell methadone at the concession stands.

USA Today released a poll showing Joe Biden was a drag on the ticket for President Obama in swing states. It sounds like he's being set up to take the blame in November. Geologists could name a tectonic plate after Obama and it would still never be his fault.

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