Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Mon, June 17

Column: Bin Laden mourners really mad at Kate

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

London Muslims staged an angry memorial service for Osama bin Laden on Friday. It's been building for 10 days. They're angry at the U.S. for killing Osama bin Laden but they are furious at Kate Middleton for refusing to promise to obey her husband.

Martha's Vineyard residents spotted giant great white sharks cruising off the coast of Massachusetts on Saturday. They must have come in search of fine restaurants. Any shark will tell you that terrorist leaders who won't eat pork don't have any flavor at all.

The Auto Club said gas prices receded Friday after 60 days of price hikes. Experts said the Mideast is calmer now that Osama bin Laden's gone. If we'd known that killing bin Laden would lower gas prices, we'd have invaded a country a week until we found him.

President Obama flew to Ft. Campbell to shake hands with the U.S. Navy SEAL who shot Osama bin Laden twice between the eyes and killed him. The president had to go to him. The commando is in the brig til he can prove he didn't act out of prejudice against Muslims.

The Pentagon said the U.S. Navy Seals seized Osama bin Laden's anti-impotence herbs and virility supplements. They were in the medicine chest. The makers of Extenze just put in a claim for the $25 million reward for leading the CIA right to his door.

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