Originally Published: March 24, 2011 10 p.m.
HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Charlie Sheen stormed onto the "Jimmy Kimmel Show" Tuesday and planted a big wet kiss on the host's lips. He'd just passed a court-ordered drug test. Now just imagine the debate among Baptists this Sunday if abstaining from alcohol and drugs turns you gay.
President Obama returned home from a trip to South America on Wednesday. While in Chile he paid a surprise visit to a grade-school history class. The children explained to the president the dangers of going into war with no clear goal and no clear exit strategy.
President Obama cut off his Central America trip to deal with Libya on Wednesday. He canceled seeing a Mayan temple where they used to throw virgins into a volcano. Today we elect inexperienced presidents and make them choose between a dictator and al-Qaeda.
Donald Trump agreed to headline the Iowa GOP Lincoln Day Dinner in Des Moines in June. He's now entering a jungle that bites back. Trump is always demanding to see the president's birth certificate but looks hurt when you ask him where his own hair was born.
Hillary Clinton held a press briefing at the State Department on Wednesday. She fielded questions on the Libyan crisis with great authority. Her sense of command comes as no surprise when you remember she had eight years of experience as Commander in Chief.
Japan continued cleaning up after its epic earthquake Wednesday. The entire Pacific Rim is on edge after Chile, New Zealand and Japan. Just to be safe, people in L.A. watched Kirstie Alley compete on "Dancing with the Stars" Tuesday night while standing in a doorway.
Toyota announced Wednesday it's shutting down its Lexus plants in Japan for awhile, which could cut off Lexus exports to the U.S. It's a blow to auto safety. The car's tendency to accelerate wildly without any warning made Americans too scared to text while driving.
The New Hampshire Union-Leader reporter Kevin Provencher was charged with running a prostitution ring. He advertised women online and rented out hotel rooms all over New England to his customers. Every 10th trick is free with your Marriott Rewards Points.