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Thu, Oct. 17

Column: Study throws good money after bad

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

China's scientists finished a study on time travel Monday and stated it's impossible because nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. They had to try. China realized their only way of dumping U.S. Treasury bonds was to go back in time and never buy them in the first place.

President Obama spoke to the nation about the stalled debt crisis talks Monday followed by John Boehner's GOP reply. The government fell apart the same day NFL football was saved. It looks like Armageddon really did happen in May and we've just arrived at the Gates of Paradise.

Charlie Sheen was seen jogging on Mulholland Drive Friday as he gets in shape for his sitcom, "Anger Management." He's invented his own diet health drink which is three parts rum and one part Weight Watcher's strawberry shake. So far he's lost 10 pounds and his driver's license, The Philadelphia Eagles were reported Monday to be considering asking Brett Favre to back up Michael Vick at quarterback. The interest is definitely there.

It's so hot at home in Mississippi that Favre has begun sending Philadelphia Eagle cheerleaders text photos of his heat rash.

The Weather Channel reported that Washington D.C. hit an all-time record of one hundred and five degrees last weekend. The heat affected the budget talks. Everyone was pushing President Obama and Speaker Boehner to negotiate around-the-clock just for the chill in the air.

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