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Thu, Feb. 27

Column: Obama calling upon Jeopardy champion

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

"Jeopardy!" crowned a new champ when IBM's Watson super-computer clobbered Ken Jennings. It knew almost everything. President Obama just invited Watson to the White House to ask him how to push democracy in the Mideast without losing our oil and naval bases.

Lindsay Lohan revealed plans Friday to open a clothing and jewelry boutique in New York and L.A. with her mother. Her movie career is in a lull. Since being arraigned on charges of grand theft last week the only job offer she has gotten is from the Somali pirates.

CBS News reporter Serene Branson froze up and babbled incoherently on the air last Sunday covering the Grammys. She forgot her words and spoke jibberish. As a result of what happened, she's been asked to sing the "National Anthem" at next year's Super Bowl.

Kobe Bryant's hands and feet were enshrined in cement in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard on Saturday. He's insufferable. Six men must accompany Kobe whenever he dines out at a restaurant, two for security and four to hold the VIP rope.

President Obama proposed a budget that doesn't cut Social Security or Medicare or Medicaid on Monday, avoiding entitlements altogether. It paints the GOP in a corner. Republicans just realized if he won't touch sacred cows then he's not Muslim, he's a Hindu.

Wisconsin Senate Democrats fled to Illinois on Thursday to deny Republicans a budget vote quorum. It was a brilliant move. They went to a Best Western with an indoor pool next to a bar so when they come home with bloodshot eyes they can blame it on swimming.

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