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Wed, June 26

Column: New iPhone app a boon for the FBI

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

Pope Benedict approved a new app on Friday that allows Roman Catholics to make confessions over their iPhones. What a rotten trick. It's the sneakiest way ever devised for the FBI to eavesdrop on Chicago politicians and find out where the voters are buried.

President Obama proposed a budget of almost $4 trillion Monday, pleasing no one. It adds a $7 tax on airline tickets to pay for airport screeners. That comes out to $3.50 a breast, the same rate Colonel Sanders charges.

Playboy Mansion guests caught Legionnaire's Disease spread by a DJ's fog machine at a dance party there Saturday. The victims also caught a break that saved their lives. It just so happens that all the fire extinguishers at the Playboy Mansion are filled with penicillin.

Southern California basked in record heat last weekend while the rest of America recovered from the cold. It's an old Spanish legend that the hot desert breeze makes Californians crazy. It was so hot in Los Angeles on Friday that Lindsay Lohan was sticking to her story.

The Conservative Political Action Conference heard speeches from GOP candidates Friday as the Mideast roiled. The news outside confused the conservatives at first. When they heard a Muslim president was stepping down, the speakers said nice things about Obama out of chivalry.

Donald Trump told a conservative meeting Friday he may run for president. He's certainly a man of his times. Of all the 70 million Baby Boomers, Donald Trump is the only one who's still wearing his Davy Crockett coonskin cap everywhere he goes.

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced Friday he's resuming his show business career and told his agent he will start fielding offers again. He's shrewd. In politics a 20 percent rating is just terrible but in television it puts you right behind "American Idol."

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