HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
Homeland Security increased airport security after last week's terrorist activity. TSA screeners are ordered to pat passengers' breasts and genitals. So far the order has produced five thousand complaints and ten million job applicants.
House Democrats defeated last week were seen by grief counselors Tuesday. They must go from denial to acceptance. Once they've accepted that their days in Congress are over, they will be counseled about how to transition to other forms of white-collar crime.
The Federal Reserve devalued the dollar, drawing a protest from China and Japan and Germany. The Democrats seem to be in total disarray. They've lost the House, they've devalued the currency and now they've outsourced the presidency to India.
President Obama met with India's leading businessmen in New Delhi Saturday. He asked them for advice on how to fix the ailing U.S. economy. They told him to turn the economy off for five minutes and then turn it back on and see if that fixes the problem.
President Obama visited the Mahatma Gandhi memorial in India amid tight security. He wasn't allowed on the streets of India. The Secret Service agents could have lost their jobs if Obama got trampled by elephants for the second Tuesday in a row.