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Tue, Feb. 19
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Column: Elton John should hire a better agent

Argus Hamilton!

Argus Hamilton!

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

Elton John performed at Rush Limbaugh's lavish wedding reception in Boca Raton Saturday. He sang at Princess Diana's funeral and Rush Limbaugh's wedding. Ever since he started leaving his business cards in florist shops he hasn't stopped working.

Tiger Woods hit three spectators with golf shots during the final round of the Memorial on Sunday. Somehow he ended up three-under-par. It's easy for Tiger Woods to keep score on each hole - he just looks back down the fairway and counts the wounded.

World Ocean Day marked the 100th anniversary of the birth of the famed oceanographer Jacques Cousteau Monday. He wouldn't recognize it today. When Cousteau explored the ocean it was an ecosystem; today it's an energy drink for cars.

Sarah Palin ordered a wall built around her backyard to shield her family from the prying eyes of biographer Joe McGinniss. The woman must be living right. Ever since she started building that wall she's gone up ten points in the polls in Arizona.

Jeb Bush spoke to New York's Republican Party state convention in Manhattan Friday and drew huge cheers. It shouldn't have been a surprise. New York is an ethnic city and Jeb Bush is a very ethnic guy if you count Pilgrim as an ethnicity.

George W. Bush told a crowd in Grand Rapids Friday he waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and he'd do at again to save lives. He doesn't care that the confession is inadmissible in court. He just enjoyed reliving Hell Week at his college fraternity.

The journal Psychology published a study on the effects of the recession on daily habits. It says during the recession the average person has lost an hour of sleep a night. The good news is, when you're not working you can take a nap in the afternoon.


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