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Tue, March 19

Column: Mel Gibson puts a lid on his toxic spewings

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

Mel Gibson began filming a new movie in New York amid signs of personal improvement in his troubled condition. The actor went without unleashing a verbal rant against black people, Latinos, Jews and women for three days. The cap is holding.

George Steinbrenner was eulogized at Yankee Stadium Sunday by players and Wall Streeters alike. The boss was a maniac about winning to the last day of his life. Only Steinbrenner could take on death and taxes and come out of it with a draw.

An L.A. judge ordered Frank and Jamie McCourt Friday to sell the Dodgers if they can't pay their lawyers. They bought four L.A. mansions at the top of the real estate boom. Now they're so far underwater you can watch the divorce trial on the BP website.

The White House made plans Monday to send the National Guard to Arizona's border next month. The troops will have desk jobs. Now they just have to figure out how to get 200,000 illegal aliens a year to stop at the desk on their way in.

Hillary Clinton awarded Pakistan a huge U.S. aid grant at a Central Asian summit in Kabul Monday. We want nothing in return. The U.S. gave up trying to extract Osama bin Laden from Pakistan after we couldn't even extract Roman Polanski from Switzerland.

Prime Minister David Cameron flew to Washington D.C. for his first White House visit. It's tense. The last British prime minister to sit in the Oval Office was sent back to the British Embassy in a box and replaced with a bust of Abe Lincoln.

Tea Party chief Mark Williams was bounced for posting a letter to Abe Lincoln from black people asking Abe to reverse emancipation because freedom's too much work. It's an honest mixup. It's actually a letter from his own kids asking him to pay for graduate school.

Washington D.C. was shaken by a minor earthquake Friday which rattled government buildings for 30 seconds. Seismologists say they had no idea there's a fissure in the earth running beneath the capital. Democrats immediately named it Bush's Fault.

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