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2:58 AM Mon, Feb. 18th
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Column: We need space travel to evade responsibility

Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

The White House budget released Monday cancels NASA's moon missions and turns NASA into a monitoring agency for climate change. That's absolutely nuts. If we aren't able to go to the moon or to Mars, we'll have no place to hide from our Chinese creditors.

The Super Bowl halftime entertainment in Miami Sunday will feature the legendary rock 'n' roll group The Who. This group has been around for a long, long time. They performed a concert at the Dinosaur National Monument in Utah when it still was a zoo.

Archie Manning's son Peyton Manning's Indianapolis Colts are favored to win his second Super Bowl Sunday. Archie's son Eli quarterbacked the Super Bowl win two years ago. Brett Favre just called Archie and asked if 40 is too old to be adopted.

New York Jets coach Rex Ryan apologized Monday for giving the finger to Dolphin fans during a Super Bowl week TV interview. They won't forget this in Miami. It could be 10 years before New York gets cocaine that isn't 90 percent baby powder.

The Michael Vick Project aired on BET Tuesday, covering his career from his all-pro days to the dogfighting that cost him prison time and the richest contract in NFL history. His skills are prodigious. Two years ago Vick was the only guy in America who lost $100 million without the help of a money manager.

The Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas unveiled a talking female sex robot. She can hold conversations and have sex. The pitch to politicians, golfers and televangelists is that she costs seven thousand dollars, and that's the end of it.

The Los Angeles City Council agreed Tuesday to allow 70 medical marijuana stores in the city. It's big business. The Pot Party is so powerful in the Golden State that once a year the governor gives a speech to a joint session of Californians.

British spies revealed Monday that al-Qaida plans to place bombs in plastic bags in airline passenger's rectums or inside women's breasts. We'll never find them. TSA screeners don't make near enough money to take that many people to dinner and a movie.

Al-Qaida was reported Sunday to have bought a huge supply of Botox as a weapon of mass destruction. It's a clever plot. They think if they can make all Americans look 10 years younger we'll all die of sexually-transmitted diseases within one year.


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