President Obama sent Joe Biden to Capitol Hill Wednesday to persuade Democrats to extend tax cuts to the rich. Last week Obama made Biden defend the dismal jobs report. All the great Chicago gangsters used an Irish lawyer to get all the dirty work done.
President Obama was blasted by Democrats Wednesday for giving the GOP tax cuts, earned income tax credits and lower payroll taxes. Democrats and Republicans agree on only one thing now. If Obama had been an Indian chief, Custer would have died of old age.
Oprah Winfrey broke into tears denying she is a lesbian during her Barbara Walters interview for tonight. Women will always adore her. Yesterday Oprah's studio audience in Chicago went absolutely wild when she gave each member a tax cut and a Chilean miner.
Columbia University students in Alpha Epsilon Pi fraternity were busted for selling cocaine. All the cash gave them away. The cops began to get suspicious when the boys hired Barry Manilow to perform his show at a pinning serenade in front of the Theta house.
President Obama infuriated liberal Democrats Monday when he struck a deal with Republicans to keep tax cuts. He abandoned the left who can't get him reelected to cut a deal with the right who'll never vote for him. Now we know he removed the bust of Winston Churchill in the Oval Office to make room for one of George Armstrong Custer.
Dick Cheney was charged by Nigeria Tuesday with bribing Nigerian government officials. It's explainable. When Cheney was in the hospital he was so out of it he sent his credit card number to every Nigerian Lottery e-mail that said he was a winner.