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Mon, Sept. 23

Kids, not girlfriend, deserve dad's attention

Dear Jan:

I am a divorced man with two kids. My girl friend resents the time I spend with my kids. I have them every other weekend. I want to do things with my girl friend and my kids, but she resents them being with us.

How can I make my kids understand that I may have to leave them home while we go to dinner without hurting their feelings? I am hoping she will change her attitude, but in the meantime, I am torn.

I really like this girl, and think there might be a future here. I have been alone for five years, and want this to work.

I would appreciate any advice you can share with me. Signed, Dad

Dear Dad:

This is such a no-brainer. You should not be involved with anyone while you are parenting your children. They deserve your undivided attention.

You have already upset their lives with a divorce, now you want them to "understand" while you bring a selfish female into their lives and expect them to play second fiddle to her.

You need to dump this girl, and start being a Dad to your kids. The fact that she objects to your time with your kids shows that you have poor taste in women. Put your kids first in every way. They need you more than you need that female.

Signed, Jan

Dear Jan:

My dad died last year. I am 21 years old, and am getting married in June. Of course, I will miss having my Dad to walk me down the aisle, but here is my problem.

I have two uncles whom I am very close to. Either of them would be happy to walk me down the aisle, but my mother and I don't know how to choose between them. Should I choose by age? Perhaps having the oldest do the honor? Please help.

Signed, Bride

Dear Bride:

How about your mother walking you down the aisle? That would be very lovely. After all, it would have been both she and your dad who are "giving you away."

Talk it over with her and I think you will find she will be very willing to do this. Best wishes to you.

Signed, Jan

You can write to Jan Kolb at P.O. Box 27545, Prescott Valley, AZ 86312. Or email:

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