Trusted local news leader for Prescott area communities since 1882
Thu, March 21

Can marriages be happy anymore?

Dear Jan:

I am beginning to wonder if there are any happy marriages anymore. It seems that every where I turn, people are either divorced, living together instead of marriage, or married and miserable. Some seem do not even like their mates, let alone being in love with them. Is this the way things really are everywhere? Or is it just me?

Signed, Marriage Shy Lady

Dear Lady:

I can understand why you would ask that question because the divorce rate is at an all time high.

And, you are right a lot of people are living together. But let me assure you, there are still plenty of wonderful marriages to be found. Many of us happily married people have gone through the fire at times, but our strong commitment to our vows helped us during the hard times. Don't be afraid of marriage, just choose well.

Watch how he handles himself in a crisis. Does he have a raging temper? Does he manage his money well? How does he treat...or talk about his parents? In other words, take your time. Once you have found him, treat each other with great honor. It can work, even today.

Signed, Jan

Dear Jan:

I made a horrible mistake three years ago when I married a man that I did not love. I knew I did not love him when I married him, and I told him so. But, I thought I would "grow" to love him.

I was an unwed mother with a little one-year-old daughter when we married. He has become a wonderful daddy to my little girl. He loves us, and takes good care of both of us.

However, now, I have met another man I am madly in love with. The sparks fly whenever we are together. I know he is the right one for me, the one I should have waited for. I don't know what to do. I hate to hurt my husband. He is a good man, and doesn't deserve this. He does, however, deserve a woman who can love him as he deserves. What in the world am I going to do?

Signed, Desperately In Love

Dear Desperate:

What you are going to do - and what you should do, is to stop seeing that other man. Love is far more than "flying sparks." Sparks are great, but for the long haul, you need a man who loves you and your little girl, and will be faithful to you.

I have said it again and again, if your lover will cheat with you, he will someday cheat on you. Cheaters are not good husband material. They are a dime a dozen.

You need to get your act together, and establish some morals for your life and set a good example for your daughter.

You say your husband is a good man. Shame on you for cheating on this good man. Now, be a good woman and do the right thing. Invest the same time and energy into your marriage as you do your cheap affair, and hopefully your good man will continue to take good care of you and your little girl.

Signed, Jan

You can write to Jan Kolb at P.O. Box 27545, Prescott Valley, AZ 86312. Or email: billjankolb2@aol.com

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