HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?
South Carolina's Governor Mark Sanford beat impeachment charges Wednesday. His opponents in the legislature couldn't muster enough votes. He had a mistress in Argentina but because he had 10 less than Tiger he's been named Nike's new spokesman.
The Congressional Black Caucus ripped President Obama on Wednesday, complaining that he's not paying enough attention to race. They're just furious. They want the President of the United States to intervene and force Tiger Woods to see a black woman.
U.S. Congressman Joe Baca withdrew his bill to award Tiger Woods a Congressional Gold Medal Wednesday. It wasn't a decision made lightly. Congress reviewed all the records for screwing people and decided they deserve to keep all the medals themselves.
Yahoo reported that the Tiger Woods scandal resulted in a huge boom for web traffic at gossip sites. Nobody knows if these stories are credible. It's well known that a lie can make it halfway around the world and back before Tiger can get his pants on.
President Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo. He's the first guy to win a peace prize the same week he sends troops overseas. They brought in a studio audience for his speech so they wouldn't have to add a laugh track in post-production.
The White House leaked that the EPA may rule business by command and control if Congress doesn't act and pass the Cap and Trade bill. The businesses won't stand for it. We may all choke on the dust cloud that's kicked up when the American jobs heading south collide at the Mexico border with the cocaine coming north.