Vacation anything but fun and relaxing
For the past 20 years, my husband and I have taken our vacation back in Illinois visiting his family.
He and his father, his uncles and cousins take off fishing days on end while I am stuck at home with his mother and grandmother canning peaches, green beans and everything else women can back there. I am so sick of it I can't stand it.
I have asked again and again if we can't please do something different during our summer, but he is afraid of hurting his family's feelings and will not consider anything else.
How can I get him to break this boring habit and go to Yellowstone, or the Alamo, or any of the other wonderful places to see? Is separate vacations the only answer for saving my sanity?
Signed, Need A Change
I would agree with you that it is high time for a major change. Your husband is too tied to his family.
They must have brainwashed him that he has to spend every summer vacation with them or their feelings would be hurt.
Perhaps you could write his parents a letter very nicely expressing how you would love a "second honeymoon" with your husband but he is afraid of hurting them, and perhaps they could write or call him and explain to him they would not be hurt if you didn't come this year. It's worth a try.
Otherwise, I recommend some serious counseling for both of you. I don't recommend separate vacations for married couples. But in your case, I have to say, you do need a change of scene. Consider a few days with a close girl friend just for a break.
My son is married to the must outrageous girl I have ever seen.
She can't cook, she is a lousy housekeeper, she dresses like a slob, and she can't even part her hair straight. I can't for the life of me see what my son ever saw in her. I can't believe I am stuck with this pathetic girl in our family. What can I do?
Chances are, with an attitude like yours, you won't have to put up with her very often.
More than likely your son and his bride will withdraw from your life and you won't see them or your future grandchildren. Unless, of course, you change your attitude and realize, the son you raised must have seen some good qualities in her.
Maybe you should try to see them, too....for the sake of your future relationship. Signed, Jan
You can write to Jan Kolb at P.O. Box 27545, Prescott Valley, AZ 86312. Or, email: firstname.lastname@example.org