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Argus Hamilton

Stories by Argus

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New York’s Attorney General was reported planning to seize Trump’s golf club in Westchester Friday as Trump tried to raise $454 million bond.

By Argus Hamilton March 25, 2024
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The Donald Trump campaign lashed out at a former high-ranking NBC executive who posted on Barron Hilton’s 18th birthday that now that he’s 18, he’s fair game. Even Democrats wanted no part of this. At six-feet-seven inches tall, Barron is the only Trump Tower that won’t be seized.

By Argus Hamilton March 24, 2024
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Keith Olbermann followed his call to banish the Supreme Court Monday by appearing to back the idea of assassinating Trump.

By Argus Hamilton March 22, 2024
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Daily Variety says the Women of the View are the highest rated daytime talk show on network TV.

By Argus Hamilton March 18, 2024
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President Biden campaigned in Michigan Thursday while Trump kept a court date in Florida.

By Argus Hamilton March 17, 2024
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President Biden tried to connect with black voters in Wisconsin Wednesday claiming personal involvement in the civil rights movement in the 1960s. This is where Joe’s memory loss works for him.

By Argus Hamilton March 15, 2024
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International Women’s Day was celebrated worldwide Friday and the festivities publicized the accomplishments of women throughout history with women’s speeches calling for gender equality in every aspect of life.

By Argus Hamilton March 11, 2024
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Joe Biden has two buttons on his desk, one button is marked Launch and the other is marked Lunch, and we all hope he’s wearing his reading glasses today.

By Argus Hamilton March 10, 2024
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The Supreme Court barred Colorado’s attempt to remove Trump, causing Democrats to change their 2024 strategy.

By Argus Hamilton March 8, 2024
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Forbes magazine posted its Health One Survey which found the average New Year’s Resolution lasts until the month of March.

By Argus Hamilton March 4, 2024
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Donald Trump and President Biden staged dueling speeches at the Mexico border Thursday. It didn’t move the 2024 needle. The latest national poll shows the presidential race is still dead ...

By Argus Hamilton March 3, 2024
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The Weather Channel reported that three weeks of off-and-on rainstorms have left the skies and mountains over Southern California crystal clear. Last night I was enjoying dinner at an outdoor restaurant ...

By Argus Hamilton March 1, 2024
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The New York Post said millions of AT&T customers panicked Thursday when their cell phones went out.

By Argus Hamilton February 26, 2024
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The Washington Post noted Thursday that Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origins rocket was set to launch later this year as the race to colonize space by private companies heated up. This past week, a U.S. spacecraft landed on the moon for the first time in 50 years. The Dollar General Store opens in April.

By Argus Hamilton February 25, 2024
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Vladimir Putin continued campaigning for re-election Saturday without mentioning the death in captivity of his critic Alexei Navalny.

By Argus Hamilton February 19, 2024
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The White House on Friday lashed out at the Special Counsel’s report on the classified documents case, which said Biden is senile and can’t stand trial.

By Argus Hamilton February 12, 2024
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Hunter Biden pleaded not guilty to nine federal charges of allegedly failing to pay over $1million in taxes and also for filing fraudulent forms with the IRS. Don’t blame his dad.

By Argus Hamilton February 9, 2024
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The Super Bowl will air on CBS Sunday and the media frenzy surrounding the celebrity pairing of Taylor and Travis could help produce the highest TV ratings in Super Bowl history.

By Argus Hamilton February 5, 2024
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The Academy Awards will air live from the Dolby Theater in Hollywood. The theater seats four hundred actors, actresses, producers and directors. To avoid the annual rage over snubbed Academy Awards nominees, next year the ceremony will consist of handing out 400 Participation Oscars.

By Argus Hamilton February 4, 2024
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The New York Times questioned the necessity of providing expensive medical care to preserve the lives of aging gorillas in zoos around the world on Saturday.

By Argus Hamilton January 29, 2024
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The Wall Street Journal reported the strong economy and record high stock market could lead the Federal Reserve to reconsider cutting interest rates. Most interest rates are around 7% for a home loan. I beat the bank rates every day by offering 0% interest in news about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

By Argus Hamilton January 28, 2024
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Donald Trump spoke to his voters and embraced his political supporters onstage after winning the New Hampshire primary Tuesday. MSNBC halted all coverage after the opening of Trump’s speech and didn’t let one word get through to America. MSNBC should be put in charge of the border.

By Argus Hamilton January 26, 2024
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Governor Ron De Santis dropped out of the GOP race after showing an admirable willingness to go anywhere to campaign for votes.

By Argus Hamilton January 22, 2024
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The Weather Channel reported record lows in the Upper Midwest and in the Great Lakes states and snowstorms in the South. There is a bright side to the blizzards and ice storms this particular year. Winter reminds Americans that snow is the only thing that settles here that doesn’t claim benefits.

By Argus Hamilton January 21, 2024
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New York Democratic Congressman Jamaal Bowman Wednesday proposed a $14 trillion-dollar slavery reparations package for African Americans. The problem is, it would motivate other aggrieved groups to jump on the gravy train. For instance, if you voted for Biden you owe me gas money.

By Argus Hamilton January 19, 2024
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The NFL enjoyed its best TV ratings of the year topped by forty million viewers on Fox Sunday who watched the Packers and the Cowboys.

By Argus Hamilton January 15, 2024
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Golden Globe host Jo Koy got bad reviews for his opening joke monologue Sunday. Every comic knows the worst audience is a show biz crowd when the lights are up because they mug to the camera and ignore the comedian. We’ll know if AI is really smart when it turns down hosting the Golden Globes.

By Argus Hamilton January 14, 2024
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Business Insider says today’s college graduates will change jobs 12 times by the time they’re 30 in search of their career. The best advice I can give is never lose heart, keep moving forward and trust your guiding star. As they say at Alaska Airlines, when one door closes, another door flies open.

By Argus Hamilton January 12, 2024
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People magazine this week did an interview with Hollywood’s popular Kevin Bacon who revealed that because of the affection he holds for his pet pig that he keeps on his farm, he has completely stopped eating pork.

By Argus Hamilton January 8, 2024
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New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers will be out all year after he ruptured his Achilles heel on the fourth play of the season Monday night. Aaron will still receive the $31 million in salary and bonus money that’s owed him this season.

By Argus Hamilton January 7, 2024
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It’s time for our annual Year in Review in Jokes. Happy New Year!

By Argus Hamilton January 1, 2024
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The New York Post published advice Thursday on New Year’s resolutions, noting that millions of people make them, but breaking habits and keeping those resolutions is difficult. My one strong point was always my self-discipline.

By Argus Hamilton December 31, 2023
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President Biden angered reporters by cancelling the traditional year-end press conference on Wednesday.

By Argus Hamilton December 29, 2023
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Joe Biden called Mexico’s president to discuss the migrant crisis Thursday. One solution is to get U.S. asylum seekers to apply from Mexico while Mexico plugs up its southern border. We’re so flooded by migrants that at the supermarket today I found peanut butter and jelly in the ethnic food aisle.

By Argus Hamilton December 24, 2023
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U.S. News and World Report published an article listing the new cars with the most high-tech features for the money in the 2023 and 2024 model cars.

By Argus Hamilton December 18, 2023
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Major League Baseball confirmed Tuesday that Shohei Ohtani’s 10-year contract with the Dodgers which deferred $680 million of the $700 million is legal.

By Argus Hamilton December 15, 2023
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The History Channel detailed the history of the fourth-century bishop named St. Nicholas and how he evolved from the patron saint of Greece and Russia to Jolly Old St. Nick every Christmas.

By Argus Hamilton December 11, 2023
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Newsroom’s Megyn Kelly moderated a GOP debate in Alabama Wednesday where Nikki Haley, Vivek Ramaswamy and Ron DeSantis took turns ripping each other.

By Argus Hamilton December 10, 2023
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Hollywood icon Norman Lear died Wednesday at the age of 101. He brought brilliant sitcoms to network TV which deployed brilliant satire to lampoon America’s social and racial issues in the freewheeling ’70s.

By Argus Hamilton December 8, 2023
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Cher gave an interview Friday in which she complained about her age and threatened to leave the country if Trump gets elected.

By Argus Hamilton December 4, 2023
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The Today Show reported a problem called Shrink-Flation at grocery stores in which the prices increase and at the same time, food portions are smaller in the packages.

By Argus Hamilton December 3, 2023
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Elon Musk announced Saturday he is going to fly to Israel this week and visit imperiled towns located near the Gaza border and meet with Israeli leaders

By Argus Hamilton November 27, 2023
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A Fox News poll showed 61% of American families tried to avoid talking politics at Thanksgiving. The top reasons the poll listed for family fights were changing the TV channel and cheating at board games. For those of you who couldn’t be with family ...

By Argus Hamilton November 26, 2023
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Thanksgiving brought families together in tense times not alleviated by a comedian at the table Thursday. My date told me not to joke about politics at her liberal Democratic family’s dinner and just bring some wine. Imagine ...

By Argus Hamilton November 24, 2023
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Cambridge released a study on generational wealth in the U.S. that found baby boomers possess an inordinate amount of wealth compared to younger generations.

By Argus Hamilton November 20, 2023
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The Fox News poll showed Donald Trump leading Joe Biden by four points if the presidential election were held today. It just never ends. Some of you want a Democrat elected our next president, while some of you want to elect a Republican, I want to ask King Charles to forgive us and take us back.

By Argus Hamilton November 19, 2023
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NBC Dateline with Lester Holt drew an 84% viewer-approval rating for its deep dive into criminal behavior.

By Argus Hamilton November 17, 2023
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NBC News hosted a Republican Party presidential candidates’ debate in Miami on Wednesday night.

By Argus Hamilton November 13, 2023
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The National Retail Federation forecast a record $308 billion in online shopping this holiday season. From my experience, make sure to double-check your order.

By Argus Hamilton November 12, 2023
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The Comedy Store in West Hollywood presented me with a birthday cake onstage Wednesday night during our sold-out show in the Main Room. It’s the only day I reflect on what I’ve learned in my life. I don’t think I’m getting smarter as I get older, I just think I’ve run out of stupid things to do.

By Argus Hamilton November 10, 2023

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