HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
President Trump flew home from Singapore after one week of diplomacy with Kim Jung Un in Singapore and our European allies in Canada. Congratulations are in order for the president. It only took five long days, but we now have better relations with North Korea than we have with NATO.
Kim Jung Un walked across a room and shook hands with President Trump in Singapore to begin peace summit talks Monday night. The historic handshake was televised live. The world witnessed a diplomatic moment, nobody thought we’d ever see, CNN saying nice things about Trump.
President Trump traveled to Singapore aboard Air Force One Monday to prepare for his peace summit talks with Kim Jung Un. While en route to Singapore as well as en route home Trump flew safely over Vietnam without being shot down. He loves to show up John McCain at every opportunity.
Kim Jung Un enjoyed an outdoor tour of the huge archway of the Singapore hotel and casino where the summit was held on Monday. It was no surprise to see the locals cheering Kim wildly when they saw him. He’s widely considered to be the Anthony Bourdain of the dog-eating community.
President Trump and Kim Jung Un arrived at a Singapore hotel for their peace talks Monday as the world wondered how they would interact as the media covering the two leaders’ every move. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t get along. Kim and Trump have the same enemy, their barbers.
Singapore locals crowded the streets in celebration of the summit going on in the city’s island enclave. Many revelers dressed up as Trump and as Kim. You could tell Kim Jung Un was serious about reunification. He arrived at the summit wearing a cap that reads Make Korea a Country Again.
President Trump was ripped in the media for confronting Canada’s Justin Trudeau on tariffs at the Group of Seven summit Saturday. It’s not the only divisive issue. Americans are getting sick and tired of seeing Canadians coming down to this country and taking jobs away from our Mexicans.
Bill Maher said Monday getting rid of Trump as president would be worth the economic crash and depression. How can he mean that? For comedians, ever since Trump was elected, the Monday morning news cycle is like Christmas, Hanukkah and Ramadan rolled into one--minus the Ramadan.
The Honolulu Star reports that the Mount Kilauea’s eruptions have native Hawaiians recalling tribal lore to end the eruptions. It called for the island’s chief to be thrown in the crater to appease the gods. Obama quickly announced that he was born in Kenya and has a birth certificate to prove it.
CBS sensors failed to bleep Robert DeNiro’s vulgar F-word blast aimed at President Trump on Sunday night during the Tony Awards in New York. The crowd gave him a standing ovation for it. Tony Awards Sunday is the second holiest day on the gay calendar after Judy Garland’s birthday.
The Weather Channel reported that Hurricane Bud was approaching the west coast of Mexico on Monday, bringing with it Category Four winds and flood-producing rainfall to the peninsula of Baja California. Fortunately the Mexican people are not threatened. They’re all in the United States.
Egyptian archaeologists excavated two forty-five-hundred-year-old mummified bodies Friday in Luxor. They frighten both sides of the political spectrum. Liberals are afraid of mummies because they are undead monsters, conservatives are afraid of mummies because they’re from Africa.