Argus Hamilton: Hurricane Harvey cleans Rebel statues

BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Comedy Store in West Hollywood is holding a fundraiser for Houston flood victims which I’ll host tonight in our four-hundred-seat Main Room. Everybody on the Gulf Coast agrees that out of something bad came something good. For starters, the Rebel statues have never looked cleaner.

Hurricane Harvey spun into a tropical storm and vectored for Louisiana on Wednesday before it began wandering northeastward in the general direction of New York City. It’s the same story each week. After six days on the job President Trump declared Texas a disaster area and fired Harvey.

The Weather Channel reports a brutal heat wave will follow Hurricane Harvey’s exit from the Gulf Coast as the flood waters inevitably recede. The area is now swarming with mosquitoes the size of crows. It was so hot and muggy in Houston yesterday that Joel Osteen was sticking to his story.

Mike Pence praised the spontaneous outbreak of Texas heroes rescuing each other during last week’s floods Thursday. Now that it’s receding one thing is clear. Forget Confederate generals just for a moment, Texas needs to erect a statue honoring the random average dude with a bass boat.

Angelina Jolie went on TV Thursday and issued an appeal for food for the Hurricane Harvey flood victims in Houston. The donations came pouring in. Within days, the Hurricane Harvey flood victims pitched in what little they had, and today, Angelina is getting the nourishment she needs.

Houston’s mayor told a press conference Thursday he was overwhelmed by all the support his city is receiving from individuals and corporations all over the U.S. On Thursday, Budweiser sent cans of fresh drinking water to Houston instead of beer. Haven’t these poor people suffered enough?

Governor Greg Abbott thanked all the donors and volunteers helping out Texas flood victims Friday. No good deed goes unpunished. President Trump donated a million dollars to the flood relief, however CNN noted that almost all the money Trump gives has portraits on slave owners on it.

President Trump vowed in a tweet Wednesday that the U.S. will stay with Texas and Louisiana and repair all damage from Hurricane Harvey until the recovery is complete. He might consider preventative measures as well. Trump should promise to build a sea wall and get Texaco to pay for it.

Los Angeles was under a flash-flood warning Thursday as massive thunderheads rolled in off the desert and collided with triple-digit heat. It’s exasperating. Can’t Houston enjoy one week of uninterrupted media coverage without L.A. jumping in front of the camera like a jealous Kardashian?

New York City Mayor Ron DeBlasio announced he’s considering renaming Columbus Circle and taking down the statue of Christopher Columbus to assuage Native Americans. The left never relaxes. Next they’re going to demand that Fifth Avenue be taken down because it offends alcoholics.

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin on Thursday refused to commit to the Obama directive that changed the portrait on the twenty-dollar bill to Harriet Tubman. One thing’s for sure. If Harriet Tubman’s on the twenty, she’s going to see a lot more snow than she ever did working on the railroad.

Governor Chris Christie is poised to name a GOP U.S. Senator should Democratic Senator Robert Menendez get convicted on the many federal counts this month in court. That could get a lot of bills passed. Chris Christie is a great man to have on your side, unless you’re on a life raft.

The Broadway musical Hamilton opened at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles glorifying Alexander Hamilton whose line of Hamilton’s is a cousin line of my line. I am the son, grandson and great-grandson of Southern Methodist ministers. We brought golf to Indian Territory in 1866.