Editorial: Proposals losing touch: It’s not about the show

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You’ve no doubt seen them, videos on Facebook where someone went to great effort to stage a marriage proposal or to ask someone to the prom.

It seems that everyone is trying to outdo what others have done.

There is nothing wrong with this, of course. People wanting to make a big moment special for someone they care about memorable is understandable. And it’s likely that most of us have watched those videos and they brought smiles to our faces.

But, shouldn’t the moment be enough? Are we getting to the point where the show is becoming bigger than the act itself?

We’ve seen marriage proposals where the man is holding a phone to shoot video as he proposes. We’ve seen another where a man is laying on the hospital floor with blood spilling and his face bandaged, taking it off to reveal his true identity and surprising his girlfriend.

Prom proposals are even worse. It’s become a game of who can top the last stunt.

We saw one video where a boy bloodied up his face and jumped in the back of his father’s ambulance. They drove him to his girlfriend’s house, wheeled him to the door on a gurney, and then handed the girlfriend a sign – after she had seen him lying like that – saying he was dying to take her to the prom.

Does anyone really think that’s romantic?

Making a decision to spend your life with someone, sharing all the joys and pains together, is a pretty amazing thing all by itself. It doesn’t need a film crew, or director, or stunts, or special effects.

It just needs love and the commitment to work through all the rough patches because you know the journey together will be so much more fulfilling than being apart from one another.

Asking someone to the prom isn’t on the same level as a marriage proposal, but it’s still a major rite of passage in our lives. It’s just one more step on the path to adulthood, and who knows, that person you’re asking might be receiving a marriage proposal from you in a few years.

Both are serious events worthy of butterflies soaring in our stomachs. Do we really need a script and extras to make it memorable?

For most of this planet’s history people have been getting engaged and going to proms without the benefit of a camera to record it all.

When the sideshow becomes bigger than asking the question itself, it’s easy to think that somehow we have misplaced our priorities.