Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,
I am 24 years old and I feel hopeless and empty.
When I was a little girl, I played with dolls and pretended all kinds of love stories, marriage proposals and “happily ever after.”
I had a friend who said one day that dolls were unrealistic and so was marriage. She said I was old-fashioned and no one gets married anymore.
I believed her and did what she did. I “hung-out” and didn’t date. None of our friends dated.
Hanging out with guys usually meant you “hooked up” sexually with someone. It wasn’t even a real relationship. It was just biology.
My older sister met her husband in college and they actually went on dates. They got engaged, got married and had two kids. They are happy and have date nights.
None of my friends even use the word “dating” anymore, because nobody dates! It’s like it’s a bad word.
I met guys online and told them things I’ve never told anyone, but when I would do a “meet-up,” it was disappointing and awkward. I don’t understand because we shared so much.
I have been “catfished” and “ghosted.” I feel so exposed.
I just want real romance, real love that lasts, and a real solid marriage.
Is that too much to ask?
Dear Too much,
No, it’s not too much to ask for real romance, real love, and real commitment. Everyone needs them. However, many in our current culture are living without rules, values, or honor.
These require trust and integrity.
You feel empty because having sex is more than a handshake. It’s sacred to share intimacy.
Ghosting hurts, because someone you hook-up with disappears from your life. This happens often. In fact, a survey from PlentyofFish.com said 80 percent of Millennials have been ghosted.
Sex in the “meet-up” context is for selfish gratification and it’s not sacred.
Hook-ups have become an emotionally empty exchange and nothing more.
Catfishing hurts because someone misrepresented themselves online, in order to hook-up. It’s deceitful, deranged, and dangerous.
You deserve a higher standard of civility at the very least. At the very most, you deserve to know that you are a child of God and changing your culture is your opportunity.
There are men who want true love, marriage, and a solid family life.
Millennials need to ditch social media and date!
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri
Rhonda Orr is the president and founder of the Prescott-based Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation. Dr. Cheri L. McDonald, PhD, LMFT, is a crime-victim specialist. Send your anonymous questions to Rhonda@rhondastopbullying.org. Find out more about Rhonda’s STOP BULLYING Foundation at www. rhondastopbullying.org.