BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Sarah Palin sued the New York Times for defamation for connecting her to the shooting of Gabby Giffords. She’s finally enjoying the last laugh. Sarah Palin became every Democrat’s punchline after she said she can see Russia from her house, now Democrats are seeing Russia from everywhere.
President Trump’s motorcade in Paris was escorted by the colorful Garde Republicain cavalry unit. France is one country with no battle re-enactment clubs. Who wants to spend all weekend dressing in old uniforms and surrendering to Germans, Normans, Romans and whoever else drops by.
President Trump and Melania dined with President Macron and his wife atop the Eiffel Tower on Thursday. It was the anniversary of the French Revolution. President Trump was in Paris to celebrate Bastille Day and the Democrats were hoping Kathy Griffin was on the reception committee.
President Trump insisted that Donald Jr. did nothing wrong meeting with a Russian attorney who offered dirt on Hillary. It turned out to be about orphan adoption, and ironically, Donald Jr. has just resigned as the president’s son and is looking for a nice couple who’ll give him a good home.
President Trump defended Donald Jr.’s meeting with a Russian lawyer in a lengthy interview with Reverend Pat Robertson on the CBN Wednesday. It was great theater. President Trump called his son open, transparent and innocent, then thought about it and demanded a paternity test.
Capitol Hill was a beehive of Senate negotiation over private coverage and Medicaid coverage Friday as the repeal and replace bill neared a vote. Everybody’s all in. It’s rumored that President Trump has offered to adopt Rand Paul and put him in the will in exchange for his vote on health care.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell worked into the weekend trying to cobble together enough GOP votes to get their health care bill passed. It’s going to be very close. Mitch said he’s just working to get 50 people into a comfortable place, but why bring Bill Cosby’s defense plea into this?
Senate Republicans continued negotiations Thursday over a health care bill they’ve had seven years to write but haven’t taken the time to do it. The bickering resulted in a TV movie. Animal Planet just announced its plans to shoot a remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington with an all-baboon cast.
ISIS strongholds in northern Iraq came under siege following the fall of Mosul Thursday but the fighting in the region remains fierce. A mercenary from Florida was wounded Friday during a battle with ISIS. His parents tried to warn him that his broken bottle was no match for their AK-47s.
National Rifle Association commercials on cable news channels were challenged by ads from women’s rights and civil rights groups Friday. We’ve become over-sensitive. Black Lives Matter just announced plans to picket the U.S. Chess Championship because white always gets to move first.
Bill Clinton and George W. Bush addressed the President’s Leadership Council at the George W. Bush Library on Thursday. For an entire hour neither president tweeted anything outrageous, ripped the media or said anything crazy. It was a throwback to a simpler time when a president had to have an intern under the desk or invade the wrong country to get his name in the newspaper.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.