Originally Published: August 11, 2007 5:21 p.m.
It never fails, I put two socks in the dryer and only one comes out. Currently in my dresser drawer there are at least a half a dozen orphaned socks of all colors, no discrimination here. Common sense says that the sock is most likely stuck to another piece of clothing via static cling or maybe it was sucked into the lint trap and is stuck in the exhaust hose.
They can't all be there though so where do the rest go? Do they run away on there own? Is there a hidden sock commune somewhere in Idaho where they darn each other and stay odor free? Other clothes in the basket create a diversion in the laundry room and a sock slips away unnoticed catching a ride on a laundry truck to reach its freedom.
Maybe the dryer itself creates an environment that alters the space-time continuum. The heat combined with the rotation of the drum triggers just the right resonating wave length for small objects, socks, to be transported to other dimensions.
Along that same theory it may be that the socks are still there. They are just not visible to the human eye due to harmonic changes in the material's molecules.
Lint is another possibility. It could be that the obnoxious socks get the snot beaten out of them and all that's left is lint. Also dress socks may be more vulnerable to this than athletic socks. There's also a chance that older socks may decide it's time to end it all and just disintegrate into lint.
Perhaps it's not even the dryer. Why are we all so quick to place blame with the dryer? Maybe the problem originates in the washing machine. There has always been a feud among these two appliances. It could be the washing machine attempting to overshadow its long time nemesis. It may be time to exonerate the dryer!
Yep, the cost of doing laundry is a sock gone astray every few loads, consumed by the gods of clean attire, one of life's little mysteries to ponder in those odd moments of life.