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The Prescott Daily Courier | Prescott, Arizona

home : features : features August 01, 2014

8/16/2013 6:02:00 AM
Column: No rodeo clowns at Comedy Store
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Syndicated Columnist

President Obama's job approval rating hit an all-time low Friday with only forty-one percent. Don't worry. I'd like to say President Obama is the greatest president in history, just in case they're starting with rodeo clowns and working their way to the Comedy Store.

The Missouri State Fair Rodeo banned a rodeo clown for life Tuesday for making fun of Barack Obama. He wore an Obama mask while a bull chased him. The crowd's laughter was a reminder to every American that Missouri just looks like it's in the Midwest.

Texas U.S. Congressman Steve Stockman invited Missouri's banished rodeo clown to perform his anti-Obama spoof in Texas Monday. The sensitivity has gotten out of hand. The Missouri State Fair rodeo just banned Gallagher for life for working with watermelons.

Forbes rated Jerry Jones' Dallas Cowboys the most valuable NFL franchise at two and a half billion dollars. The man is willing to sacrifice. Jerry Jones sold off his oil and gas holdings twenty-five years ago to buy the Dallas Cowboys, or he'd be worth real money.

Ashton Kutcher told the Teen Choice Awards Sunday that portraying Steve Jobs in his new movie Jobs taught him that brains are the sexiest thing in the world, not looks. It is appalling. Actors lose their bearings whenever movies are filmed away from Los Angeles.

Breaking Bad's last season began Sunday about chemistry teacher Walter White who manufactures pure crystal meth. It drew six million viewers. The show has a manic and hypervigilant fan base and hopefully ObamaCare will cover their dental implants someday.

The New York Times website went down Wednesday causing a panic in the Eastern establishment. The publisher passed it off as scheduled maintenance. Sure enough, a few hours later, the New York Times came back on-line with suspiciously larger breasts.

The New York Times says the Clinton Global Initiative is a front for companies which want access to the Clintons. They said Serta donated big bucks to link their Perfect Sleeper bed with Bill Clinton. No one knew until now that Serta makes Oval shaped carpets.

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